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This is about OfficeMax the store. For OfficeMax the sex move, click here
“It gives public urination a whole new meaning!”
~ Oscar Wilde on OfficeMax
OfficeMax, is an office supply retail superstore that was opened on April 1st, 1988 by Otto Von Bismarck. It is presently secretly owned and operated by the Borg Collective.
[edit] History
[edit] Creation
The store was ran from 1054 to 1991 by Father Christmas, before it was bought out by the evil KMart in late 1990. A war soon followed, as Santa's workshop refused to accept Kmart control. Elves soon began a suicide bombing campaign on Sweden, which was crushed by Thor and his band of gypsies. The elves were eventually enslaved to produce candy canes and cheap staplers. In 2003 John Stamos reached a bargin with Kmart by exchanging approximately 37 dildos for the elves. The result was OfficeMax.
[edit] Judgement Day
In 2005 This Guy purchased OfficeMax. With his guidance, OfficeMax became a sentient being bent on destroying civilization. The resulting armageddon led to the formation of the human resistance led by John Connor. To stifle John Connor once and for all, OfficeMax sent multiple robot cyborgs, called "terminators" back in time to murder him in different periods of his life. After a couple of failures, the mission was shelfed. However, more than 10 years later the missions were revived, and a 3rd, female terminator was sent to the past to kill John Connor. OfficeMax is rumored to have claimed that this 3rd edition to series "won't be as good as the first two."
[edit] Things that OfficeMax sells
[edit] Things that OfficeMax has "sexed"
[edit] External links
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