Kingdom Alaska
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[edit] History
Long ago in the year 2,150,073 B.C, the great king Charles the IIIrd decided to found a great nation that would take up half of the world, and he would name his kingdom the Kingdom of Alaska, because his mother, Mother Nature, and his father, Father Time, both had the second middle name of Alaska, so that is why he decided to name it thus.
[edit] Founding the Head of Power
The great king Charles the IIIrd picked the great metropolis of Jeninglehigm, pronounced jeninglehime, as the head of power, but his first wife, less great queen Ester, who origanally heralded from the region of what is now known as Michigan, wanted him to go with Tinnanga. Luckily the great king Charles the IIIrd didn't much care for listening to his wife and chose Jeninglehigm. The reason this was a lucky choice is because in less than a year a great 1,335,848 square foot palace was constructed and if had been built in Tinnanga it could have, but most likely wouldn't have because Alaskan architecture was so fucking awesome, been destroyed by a giganic earthquake.
[edit] Initial Founding of Laws
Upon building his palace the great king Charles the IIIrd began to issue his 75,000 edicts which became the standard for law up until the year 1,300,000 B.C, when it was replaced with his newer 75,001 edicts, and in doing this he sentenced his wife the less great queen Ester, to death for the act of high treason against the state for trying to put the capitol at risk. This is because it turned out that she did know about the earthquake, because she got a Nurk magician; which were rare because the Nurks weren't especially good at magic; to make it for her. From that moment on Alaska had a law system and the late queen Ester was known as the bitch who almost ruined Kwanza
[edit] Economy
All the money would initially go to King Charles the IIIrd later to be distributed as he saw fit. This money was usually taken in from either the Black Market of Alaska, pet stores, or from their few cash crops (styrofoam, potatos, and pinecones).
[edit] Political System
Kingdom of Alaska. If you can't tell it's a monarchy then you're a dumb ass, and thus would be beat upon the head until you got cancer or a brain tumor in ancient Alaska.
[edit] Leader
King Charles the IIIrd
First king of Alaska whos parents were Mother Nature and Father Time, was born many millions of years ago (exact date not known), and is still alive today; ruling over his mighty kingdom in secrecy. "Very little is actually known about the kings life other than what he did as the king of Alaska.
Political Career Was first, and only, king of the mighty nation of Alaska. It is unknown how he took office, but it is believed he just grabbed a map, set up boundaries, and proclaimed Kingdom Alaska a nation; but it is known that he used the power of his parents to establish his authority. Some of his first actions in office involved not listening to his wife Ester in establishing the Head of Power, which became the first great decision of the king, and it was also followed by his 75,000 edicts; which lasted for 950,073 years until they were replaced by his 75,001 edicts.
Military Career His military career is not nearly as stunning as his political career, partly because he had to come to an armistice with the only nation he ever fought in a war; but with that nation being the only other strong nation this is forgivable (though it can never be forgiven, because he didn't wear any fancy hat while charging into battle, or even give out a single battle cry {in fact, he dicouraged his troops from battle cries; and outlawed fancy hats in battle}).
[edit] Special Magical Weapons of Alaska
One of the greatest achievements of Ancient Alaska was its mastery of magic, and thus was able to create some of the most powerful magical weapons every known to man. There are certain magical weapons though that stand out more than the others, such as the Magic Spear, or Spear of Magic, or Magical Spear, or Spear of Magicry; the Bow of Dead People; and the Wand of Magic, or Magic Wand, or Wand of Magicry, or Magical Wand.
[edit] Magic Spear, or Spear of Magic, or Magical Spear, or Spear of Magicry
The magical spear was originally developed by the Shaman and his lonely companion wolf-boy, a boy who was human in every aspect accept for the fact that he was raised by wolves.
The Magic Spear, or Spear of Magic, or Magical spear, or Spear of Magicry was created from the wood of the Tree of Unimaginable Power and the rest of the tree was lit in one great fire, which raged throughout all of Alaska thus melting the polar ice caps filling the worlds oceans with freezing cold water. This condition lasted and lasted, but it did not last and the water evaporated forming a cloud, which created a Lightning Bolt of Unimaginable Power, which struck the Magic Spear, or Spear of Magic, or Magical Spear, or Spear of Magicry. This lightning strike infused the spear with magical powers because whenever a normal spear made from the Tree of Unimaginable Power is struck with a Lightning Bolt of Unimaginable Power it is magitized.
The Great Shaman of Alaska sold this spear on the Black Market of Alaska in order to pay off his mortgage, it has been lost since then.
[edit] Bow of Dead Peoples
The Bow of Dead Peoples was originally created by a mighty bowyer named Thomas, a name he was given by the Shaman,and it was designed to best any other weapon ever made by a mortal.
In order to make this bow he would need 7935 Juneau's; the Alaskan word/concept of souls, 1.78 million drakkars; a hair that a horse has only one of and can only be obtained from a horse once every 72 years, and the rib bone of a buffalo; 7 can be obtain from a single buffalo. To infuse the buffalo bone bow with the Juneau's you had to throw them all into a blender, grind them together, and pour them into a mold made from a slautered buffalo skin. After pouring these individual pieces into the mold he had to find the everlasting remains of the fire that spread throughout all of Alaska, but the bad part was that these remains of the great fire that spread throughout all of Alaska were about to go out, and he had to take public transportation to get there. The remains of the great fire that spread throughout all of Alaska were located in a cave near a harbor 10 minute to the West of where Thomas began production on the Bow of Dead Peoples, but the visiting center to see it was closed. In order to get to the fire he had to hop over a 2 foot fence and walk all of 0.2 miles to get there. Reaching the great fire he threw the mixture made from the 7935 Juneau's and the buffalo rib into the remains of the great fire that spread throughout all of Alaska, which burst into a gigantic flame never to go out again. He then waited for the arrival of his package from the Shaman, which contained the creation he had made, then he strung the drakkars into one very tightly woven thread and strung the bow. He redid the math, thinking the bow took to many Juneaus and drakkars and found out that he only needed one or each. Upon being able to produce these slightly more effectively he sold them on the Black Market of Alaska because the government outlawed them for their power, but then he sold them to the government during the war with New Turkey.
This bow was strong enough to pierce the shield made by a Palowep, which could defend itself from all physical and magical weaponry.
[edit] Fall of the Kingdom of Alaska
The ancient Kingdom of Alaska fell after the Nurks waged war with it during World War Alaska vs. New Turkey, and it is now reduced to a small state within the United States of America.
Another major factory in its fall was the ageing of the styrofoam fruit supplies that caused many of them to violently explode. That is the reason areas such as modern Alaska, Canada, and Canadia are so uninhabited; not because they're cold as hell.
[edit] Modern Alaskians
Modern Alaskians (ones that are still around) include:
- The Great Shaman of Alaska (actually dead, but the king won't admit it)
- Darth Vader
- King Charles the IIIrd
- M.C. Hammer
- Boba Fett
- Jango Fett
- William Shatner
- Captain Kirk
- Captain Picard
- Vanilla Ice (according to King Charles the IIIrd he is no longer considered an Alaskian because the king hates him)
