Old Boot
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Old Boot is the unborn, chevon eating love fetus of Bill Cosby and Jimmy Carter.
It was discovered in a Mexican crack house on March 16th 2004 by Jimi Hendrix, Gary Coleman and This Guy. Old Boot is considered by many to be the worlds greatest campaigner for the fight against erectile dysfunction in child pornographers that have a common knowledge of algebra and algebraic terms (E.D.C.P.C.K.A.A.T). He contributed to That Guy's 15 minutes of fame by allowing That Guy to lick him. (see That Guy for further information).
Other appearances Old Boot include:
- The Great Prostate Debate of '99,
- Prolapse in the Park,
- Live8, raising funds for the black people fighting against mayonnaise,
- Chevon meets Devon and,
- Jimmy Carter's comedy breakdancing happy peanut flavoured flower hour.
- Ass Crust no more!
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[edit] Childhood
Old Boot grew up inside Bill Cosbys rectum until he got too grotesquely large to fit inside the womblike structure. He was ejected from the anus in a violent orgy of blood and olive oil nine months premature. He was disowned by his parents and shot out of a cannon by kitten huffing jews, winding up in Mexico.
[edit] Teen Years
Old Boot spent all of his teen years making cheap, counterfeit sneakers whilst being whipped by Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen. The rest of his teen years were spent in brothels with Asians and Fidel Castro, the profound discoverer of Purple. He developed his obsessive love of chevon in this factory after bunging a sneaker and inventing chevon. His favourite pastime is fornicating with cabbages, lettuce and funky beans.
He once found a fallopian tube on the side of the road when he was 15. Turned out it belonged to Russell Crowe. Old Boot, unfortunately, misplaced this prized possession whist playing basketball.
[edit] The Invention of Chevon
Exerpt from Old Boot's diary:
25th December 2005
Dear Diary
This morning i woke up to find a Japanese midget snorting coke off my penis, so i emptied my milk inside of him and went to work. There was an unusual smell to work today, kind of like anus and fetus patties. I got to my station and began with making counterfeit sneakers to sell to Jewish Hitler. I began daydreaming a woke up to find that I had made a mess of the sneaker I was working on.....so I ate it.......it tasted devony, yet cheesey. I soon realised that I had invented a revolutionary dessert, quite suitable for German Lesbians too kill off that damm Ass Crust that has been sweeping the nation. I decided to call it Chevon. I then rode an Asian to the brothel and inserted an Anaconda into my butt until it bit my prostate.
[edit] Adult Years
His adult years were spent searching for his umbilical cord and campaining for everything that he believed to be 'worthwhile' These include
- Prostate Health
- Erectile dysfunction in child pornographers that have a common knowledge of algebra and algebraic terms
- Chevon
- Devon and;
- Ass Crust
[edit] The Prostate Debate
Old Boot first became submerged in prostate stimulation after sitting on a snake, bringing him to orgasm through prostate stimulation. Old Boot believed that this act should no longer be looked down upon and decided to spread the word. He began by visiting schools, giving practical demonstrations to school children.
The prostate first reached the mainstream entertainment industry when Billie Joe Armstrongs prostate wriggled out of his bumhole and did the monkee during a recent gig in Denver, France.
The Great Prostate Debate, a yearly custom, soon became an annual tradition, held on the 14th of April. Last years Great Prostate debate was gatecrashed by Jewish rapper monks and various colour variations of ass.
[edit] Discovering E.D.C.P.C.K.A.A.T
Old Boot discovered E.D.C.P.C.K.A.A.T after being approached by Michael Jackson (an alegebraic genious), who was suffering from a condition known as anti-wood in which his already defunct penis cold not sustain an erection. Many other child pornographers approached Old Boot with this very same problem. E.D.C.P.C.K.A.A.T was formed on July 27th 2005 with a lot of help from his partner Ian Piddington.
[edit] Enhancing Chevon
Old Boot's Family Chevon is developed in a factory in Eastern Sweden, next to Chlárú Fásóirí Ass Crust factory. Old Boot is the largest producer of chevon, devloping nearly 24 furlongs of chevon daily. Due to the explosive nature of Chevon only Chil'ean crack addicted babies are authorised to work in such inhospitable conditions. He did, however, invite a handful of children into the factory after they all won golden tickets, enabling them to tour the factory. These gold tickets were hidden inside packets of Old Boot's family chevon. All of the competition winning children were immeadiately molested by the 'Chumba Wumbas' (Chil'ean crack addicted babies) and thrown into a ditch with the Chumba Wumba god Rosie O'Donnell to be eaten as a sacrifice. They were all seared until well done and garnished with chilli, crack and lesbians. Hence resulting in the product known today as hommus.
The invention of the Vaginal Douche greatly contributed to the improvement of Old Boot's Family Chevon, giving it that world renown 'fetus-like' taste.
The only other Chevon makers in the world are Colonel Saunders and Oprah Winfrey, whom have both been killed by Joe Namaths horde of dish washing minions. Leaving Old Boot with no competition in the ravenous game of the production of Chevon.
[edit] Contributions to Devon
Old Boot had no contribution to to devon. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nothing whatsoever you moronic piece of crud. Old Boot did, however, penetrate Devons earhole, giving Devon Herpes.
[edit] The downfall of Ass Crust
Old Boot cintributed to the downfall of ass crust within the German Lesbian society by adding a little extra zing to his Chevon. This extra 'zing' turned out to be tractor fuel, left in the fridge for 48 hours, eaten by Chil'ean crack addicted babies and then collected when the tractor fuel turned into feces. The German Lesbian community took a great liking to this new 'zing'. Chevon eventually pushed ass crust out of the German Lesbian community as the official dessert of the community, later replaced by Chevon.
A law was passed on the 17th December 2005 in Germany that stated "any homosexual women caught eating, huffing or being within 100ft of the product 'Ass Crust' will be kicked in the face, not once, not twice, but thrice. They will then be taken to prison to be executed by way of 'shovelling'"
Shovelling:Placing the point of a shovel 10mm below someones kneecap, jumping on the shovel, extracting the kneecap from underneath the skin and forcing the victim to eat their own kneecap.
[edit] Family
Old Boot married a goat at the age of 25. The two divorced after several domestic violence acts against the goat. He then met a kitten huffing Jewish Rabbi at 27 and they threw rocks at each other. He then met Travis Saxby, a weenie with a vengeance. The two met under strange circumstances. Old Boot thought Travis was a male, that only looked like a girl on the outside. The two then got intimate to find that Travis had ovaries, fallopian tubes, a cervix and a vagina (collective term : Female reproductive system. The two got married in a pirate ship made out of devon. They are happily married, live in a treehouse in Gary Colemans backyard and have 3 fucked up pieces of shit (children).
[edit] See Also
- That Guy
- Chevon
- German Lesbians
- Jimi Hendrix
- This Guy
- Gary Coleman
- Bob Dole ......BOB DOLE!!!
