Online Games

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“Online is the only place where large groups of people can gather, chat and play games whilst sitting at home alone, beating off in their underwear.”

~ Rush Limbaugh on online gaming

EXITS ARE NORTH,WEST.
WHAT NOW?
> GET LIFE
I'M SORRY, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

Online gaming is a societal paradigm shift, which means nobody yet knows how dangerous it is. If you don't give up online gaming by the time you are 30, you become part of the machine, and your soul gets trapped in fibre-optics and becomes property of TimeWarnerMsnbcDisneyPixar and will usually be recycled as porn.

There are many different games to be played on the web. Some such as Warcraft, where bad things happen to bad people, and Halo, the first of it's kind of the games in which it can be funny to watch another human being being pwned by an amateur.

Stay Alive, you die in the game, you die in the game. It's as simple as pie. MMMMMMM, pie.

[edit] RL.net

RL.net is a mythical network, thought to be members-only, where people can Really Live(TM) and have Real Life(TM) transactions, such as opening the curtains, taking a crap, etc. RL is set in a whole "Real" world, which is like a virtual world but with higher resolution and fewer neat special effects. RL is a Totally Immersive Experience: users interact directly with objects in the "Real" virtual world rather than through a set of keypresses or controller movements, e.g. to LOOK around, rather than moving the mouse, you turn your head in the desired direction and your avatar mimics the action.

You will know if you have stumbled into RL.net because you will find yourself standing in front of a door trying to figure out how to press the USE key.

It is not known where RL is hosted, though many believe Google is behind it as they are known to have sufficient computing power. RL is powerful enough that most other virtual worlds are encapsulated within it. Expected soon is a RL interface for WoW which will run under Second Life.

Other tips for playing RL.net

• Do not attempt to 'click' other users to get their profiles
• Jumping everywhere will not get you there quicker
• Carjacking is much harder in RL.
• Weapon pickups are usually quite widely spaced in RL maps.
• Amateurs are funny to kill, but are bastards when it comes to fragging you when your just about to beat someone worth while.