Orbit

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“It gave me a good clean feeling”

~ Stephen Hawking on Orbit

Discovered by Stephen Hawking in 1984, the orbit is a way of unleasing the awesome power of the fundamental centrifugal force of nature. When a physical object is "placed into orbit", the deepest foundations of our commonsense view of the world unravel. Matter becomes energy, time becomes space, power becomes knowledge, love becomes money, and the inexorable power of compound interest takes hold.

The unbelievable forces created by this process could destroy the world in an instant, but instead they enable scientists to suspend the laws of gravity and cause objects to hover in mid-air or empty space.

Some cautious people say that by using the orbit, we are playing God, and will only bring evil and destruction upon ourselves. But anyone who thinks that is a mind-bogglingly primitive redneck who deserves to be shot on sight by all right-thinking folk. In fact the orbit is our friend, and is now used to bring us such miracles of modern science as fridges, Intelligent Design, and the Sun.

This is the final resting place of many goats, especially frozen goats, launched by Pneumatic Goat Launchers. This is the result of a Soviet-era program to develop goat spy satelites. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!