Orgasm
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“Is that it?!”
~ Your Mother on orgasms
An orgasm is an extremely painful feeling caused by intense tickling of very sensitive parts of the body. It hurts so badly that people often cry out to God, to stop the suffering.
Throughout history people have inflicted orgasms on each other for sadistic purpose. For those who derive pleasure from another person's pain, there is nothing better then the joy of watching someone's face contort, their bodies begin to flail about helplessly and their screams of "Oh God!"
People even masturbate to give themselves orgasms. Why this drive exists has puzzled biologists for centuries, since most people are allergic to pain.
People sometimes get anal orgasms after anal sex. If the orgasm is strong enough and painful enough they will often poop.
Nerd orgasms often also happen when playing Civilization and pwning other online teams. The side-effect of the cum on the screen is also funny to show to your sisters too. They will eat it.
While men tend to squirt yoghurt out of their penile organ when having an orgasm, women tend not to. Freud felt this delusion was another form of penis envy.
[edit] OH GOD OH OH
Oh god. Oh my god. RIGHT THERE OH GOD AERROW OH MY GOD. YES YES YES YES YES. OH. OH. OH MY GOD. OH SHIT. OH FUCK. OH. OHHHHH. YES! I'M - OH GOD OH MY GOD. HARDER! YES. HARDER HARDER. DON'T STOP. OH. OH MY GOD I'M CUMMING. I'M OH GOD FUCK. AHH AHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[edit] Types of orgasms
- Orgasmgasm - The orgasm of all gasms!
- Goregasm - What Eco faggots and Eco lezes get when Al Gore fucks them
- Watergasm - an orgasm achieved by letting water hit a woman's pussy very hard for very long.
- Nintendorgasm - an orgasm generated by a web borne relay. Popularized on the Nintendo Gay Boy.
- Segasm - an orgasm hedgehogs get; Sonic the Hedgehog is very horny.
- Mutual orgasm - an orgasm people get when they engage in sexual activity. Makes you wonder why humans crave sex so much if it causes the excruciating sensation known as an orgasm.
- Mathgasm - an orgasm caused by doing too many theoretical math problems. Try it sometime. It works wonders for masochists.
- Shinodagasm - An orgasm caused by Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park and Fort Minor.
- Evilgasm - an orgasm caused by committing an act of unspeakable evil, such as cutting the tag off of a bed. Remember, crime does not pay!
- Orgasm - A normal orgasm. Very, very painful.
- Eargasm - when music goes inside your ears and... make it hurt. Horribly.
- Eyegasm - when one witnesses or views something so awesome that their eyes instantly orgasm.
- Doorgasm - An orgasm resulting from repeatedly locking and unlocking a door with an oily lock.
- Hairgasm - an orgasm generated by head banging for too long, like when one goes to an Dimmu Borgir concert
- Iceborgasm/Icebergasm - an orgasm most notably achieved by the RMS Titanic when it rubbed against an iceberg, making it erect before causing it to suddenly collapse into two pieces and sink. Not recommended for miscellaneous passengers.
- Treegasm - What not yet desensitized treehuggers experience upon hugging a tree.
- Female orgasm - something that does not, has not, and will not ever exist. (see myth) The two depictions of females having orgasms on this page are, unfortunately, posed.
- Wikigasm - an orgasm caused by the intense satisfaction at the precise instant of the submission of an article on Wikipedia, based on the sensual motion of one's finger slowly grasping the tip of a slick pointing device and slowly pressing down on its touch-sensitive area to gently stimulate the awaiting option of submission and... oh... Oh!... OH GOD THE PAIN!!!11!!&4!!
- Guitargasm - an orgasm caused by particularly awesome guitar playing.
- Oralgasm- an orgasm that people sometimes get after engaging in oral sex. But not usually.
- Gaugasm- the only person able to bring on this is the legendary Jon Gau
- Paninigasm- an orgasm achieved after consuming a panini made by the black god cafeteria guy in the mets hat
- Pennygasm- An orgasm reached by finding a lucky penny.
- Portmangasm- An orgasm achieved by making portmanteaus using the word orgasm.
- Posteriorgasm- An orgasm resulting from having an orgasm. Which may lead in a deadly neverending chain of orgasms. This is the worst possible way to die, as the pain gets worse with each consecutive orgasm.
- buttgasm- an orgasm caused by butt sex
- Muffgasm - caused by muffin consumption
- footgasm - An orgasm caused by putting one's foot up one's ass.
- Huffgasm - An orgasm achieved when huffing kittens.
- Nerdgasm- An orgasm derived from witnessing something incredibly geeky (see Otaku).
- Sargasm - An orgasm faked for purposes of sarcasm.
- Piegasm- An orgasm achieved through the consumption of pie.
- Halorgasm- An orgasm achieved through pwning with the Master chief on Halo 1,2, or 3 (preferably 3).
- Cargasm - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKNzEvK_5u8&mode=related&search=
- Pwngasm - An orgasm typically stimulated by the 1337 ub3r pwning of n00bz.
- Bohrgasm- An orgasm involves a negatively charged vagina quickly rotating around positively charged penis.
- Borgasm- An orgasm caused by the insertion nano-probes into the blood stream.
- peegasm- An orgasm achieved when pissing up someone's ass.
- Al gorasm- An orgasm giving from watching the Inconveniant Truth.
- No gasm- No orgasmic reaction here son, sorry!
- Artgasm- an orgasm from experiencing something excitingly artistic.
- Goregasm- an orgasm caused by a particularly awesome gore scene.
- Boregasm- when you get so bored your genitals just explode.
- Sawgasm- When you Saw off your genitals and you cum blood.
- Sandgasm- When you get sand in your vagina and you become aroused.
- wowgasm - An orgasm achieved through obtaining a high level on the game World of Warcraft, normally resulting in cries of “OMG, I AM TEH PWNAGE.“ People who experience this sort of orgasm will normally never experience any other sort of orgasm.
Usually, people improve their orgasms when they rub human hair on their genitals; and may explain why women have longer hair than men. Unfortunately, there is little to no reduction in the immense pain of an orgasm. Poop Cuisine is often cooked after orgasms generated by people. Kitten Huffing causes orgasms on kittens who are too young to masturbate by themselves.
[edit] External Links
Too many to mention.
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