Orthodox Monsterist Church

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[edit] Definition

The Orthodox Monsterist Church has two meanings. It can mean a place where the Jews pays $3,000,000 dollars a hour to a hooker for divine sex.But really, The Orthodox Monsterist Church is the place three things: Hookers, money, and cats with guns. Most people will go with cats with guns though because they are cheap, they use their poop as bullets( a nice nasty surprise for the enemy), to get Asain Chicks, and to entertain the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Chruch has it wild and crazy memories.

[edit] History

The Orthodox Monsterist Church has so many information about its past, but last night, I flash all the information away at the toliet. Hopefully, I will tell you everything by memory. Around the 1900's, Stan, also known as Satan, went to Italy to have pasta. He went to Super Mario's restaurant pasta from across the land. Satan sat at the table for the waiter, and then he discovered that the waiter is actually Mario from the Super Smash Brothers. He ask Mario if he can has pasta with tomato sauce, but Mario shoots out spicy meat balls at Satan's Spaghetti Monster). Then the FSM( Flying Spaghetti Monster) started to betray its master by eating him, and next the monster use his new powders from Satan to create a giant church on top of the restaurant. The FSM then spared Mario by moving him to Sicily, so he can have sexual intercourse with women who doesn't shave their legs, breasts, and their armpits. After that, it attracted a lot of Italians. They sacrificed pigs for the giant monster, so it won't eat the people and to pee on their children. At the year 2000, the Orthodox Monsterist Church spreads its influences at America, for it attracted a lot of fat people, Italians, potheads, hookers, Brian Griffin, The Cookie Monster, and pie.Yes, pie. I like pie. It makes me sexy when I eat it. Well, back to the story. Then the Flying Spaghetti Monster Flying Spaghetti Monster has died a at the January 1, 2008. It was not buried because Wario ate his corpse, and he said "Oh jeez, I am going to fart." Next, he farted out Satan, and then Satan turned him into a vagina, and brought the Flying Spaghetti Monster back to life the next day. So that is how the church was formed.

This is the original church from Italy at the 1900's when The Flying Spaghetti Monster created it over the restaurant.Yeah, it just popped out of nowhere from the sky, and then it landed on top of the restaurant.Anyways, As you can see here, the house has it own eye brows.It is a.And you will also see a poorly drawn trageting board on the house, which is between the windows and above the door. The Church looked happy back then with its poorly made picture.

[edit] How to enter in the Church

There are two ways to enter into the Church of the Orthodox Monsterist Church. First, you must fart on the rock that is right next to the dog poop in front of the door. If you do this, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster will put a flying rock over your head. That means that the guard of the church will let you licked every single details and counters, and then you will not enter in the church. Just kidding. You will go in the church after what people now call their toilets, poopy bowl.

[edit] People who attended at Orthodox Monsterist Church

These are the List of people who attended at the Orthodox Monsterist Church. Some people on this list pick their nose, or masturbated with their teddy bear.

• George W. Bush
• Jessica Simpson (picked her nose)
• Peter G(picked his nose and masturbated with his teddy bear)
• Mario (picked his nose)
• The Transformers
• Wario (farted on Mario's head and picked his nose)
• Some guy from Subway
• Cats with guns
• Pikachu
• Santa Claus (or Satan)
• Tom (picked his nose)
• Jerry (picked Tom's nose)
• Satan
• The Jew Squad
• Luigi
• Peewee's Hooker
• Darth Vader (He picked his nose....HAHAHAHAHA!!!)
• Mr. Potato head from Toy Story
• Cat in the hat (ate one of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's legs, and then died from flaming meatballs attack)
• Atheist ( they had too much pot, and they though that the poop from the FSM's toliet was a giant chocolate ice cream.)

==(???)==

Hey, what do you want? There is nothing here. That is the reason that I used the "???."

[edit] The locations of the church

This is a Souther Quèbec, and then the Caribbean where you will see the hispantics eat those pork and beans that makes you fart. Pork and beans are re-symboled the flesh and blood of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The members from the church eats it because the FSM does not want to be eaten again by Mr. Wario.

[edit] What happened to Wario

Well, Wario volunteered to be Satan's Vagina in exchange for the son of the devil, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, to change back into his original form. At April 2008, he went back to his original form, but he got temporary gayness as a result. After he did anal sex with Hitler, he went back to normal and was dressed up as Satan, so Wario got confused.

[edit] Random

Did you know that Satan likes to like The Flying Spaghetti Monster's penis? It's true. Just ask the weather man.

[edit] Source

• The article
• The story came from the mind of Italianman
• a little bit from Super Smash brothers, the FSM, and the Family Guy Show.

[edit] See Also

• Zario
• I have a gun in my pants