Oscar the Grouch
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“FUCK YOU!”
~ Oscar the Grouch on You
“He's kind of a dick.”
~ Captain Obvious on Oscar the Grouch
“I am not related to him.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Oscar the Grouch
Oscar the Grouch was the grand-daddy of pimps. He was the sole creator and distributor of internet.cornography.
[edit] Oscar The Grouch's Life
Oschino Libertino Phfillipino Greeno Whatdadilli-yo Grouchajevvskovski was born in a classy-upscale suburban down town pile of trash on September 13 1962. He was born with a shovel up his ass to Libertino Phfillipino Greeno Grouchajevvskovski and Saddam Hussein, a Jewish gay couple. He like, Will Smith was a child prodigy, prolific in the ways of the force and just being an all around asshole. He was also, a stright-A student, a tuba player, and a childhood friend of Niggers. he is a friend of Crackers and Honkies, but, as he is gay, he is also a friend of Hoes and Beyotches, too. Oscar the Grouch is a character on the educational children's television show Sesame Street played by the legendary comedian Groucho Marx (though Sir Walter Raleigh did substitute on several occassions). As well as being a pimp, Oscar was addicted to crack cocaine and speedballs.
Oscar is best known as the originator of the famed Oscar Awards, the first cinematic award statues ever issued by the resident of a dustbin. He is also well-known for creating a series of impressive murals with Cecil in 1982 on the Merlin Wall, in East Germany. Shortly after the time of the "dinosaurs", Oscar appeared in several videos with Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee.
He is also an extremely close friend (and rumor has it lover) of Oscar Wilde.
Oscar used to live in a garbage can, but after it was destroyed by a misfired musket in the Battle of Sesame Street, he instead moved into the former coffin of zombified John Adams in Bangkok.
Memorable Quotes:
“Gee, Oscar you're a grouch.”
~ Little Girl
“BITCH, I LIVE IN A FUCKIN' TRASH CAN!!!”
~ Oscar
See also the Marx Brothers.
-Little Known Facts About Oscar- Oscar originally started his life out as who we now know as Jesus, but he traded all his powers to a bum on the street for a new dumpster instead of his trash can. The bum accepted ruluctantly, however this dumpster was struck by thunder the next day and Oscar was forced to move back to his trash can. This makes you wonder that if Oscar had Jesus's powers he wouldn't have just said, "Get the #$(# out of the dumpster you stupid idiot before I kill you slutty rat. You have twenty-five seconds to get out of the dumpster"
| People named Oscar |
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| Oscar Wilde • Oscar Wilder • Oscar Mayer • Oscar the Grouch • Oscar Romero • Oscars (Academy Awards) |
