Our Lady Peace
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"Yo' momma's OUR Lady Peace.......in BED!!11!1eleven11. Awwwwwww yeah!"
~ Yo' momma joke on Bed
[edit] The Unknown History of Our Lady Peace
Although generally known as a band from Canada, Our Lady Peace actually started off in Rome, in a quaint monastery. In 1989, lead singer Raine Maida and lead guitarist Mike Turner decided to form a Gregorian-chant band with two men disguised as my ball sack who were living in the monastery, drummer Jeremy Taggert and bassist Duncan Coutts. After two after-dinner shows (and one appearance on Conan O'Brien), the band was kicked out of the monastery in Winter of 1991. The monastery claimed that the band was released due to their loudness and whining, but speculation still abounds that the Pope had them expelled to hide the fact that each band member was the love child of a torrid affair between the Pope and Frodo the Hobbit (which explains why Raine is so short).
The band had also caused numerous soccer riots (they were a general favorite of Italian hooligans), so they came to Canada and settled in Montreal, where they could work on starting hockey riots instead. The band spent a year fixing their accents to sound "Canadian," and in 1994, they were ready to release their first CD, "Naveed", which was originally titled "I Hate That Girl I Met In Hope Who Broke Up With Me At That New-Age Healing Centre". Raine decided on "Naveed" instead because he liked the sound of it and it reminded him of sex with your mom. Unbeknownst to the lead singer, "Naveed" is Persian for "My wife, the Babylonian Whore," which explains why the album's sales were so poor in Iran, and why Iranian missiles are generally aimed toward Montreal (Which is funny because the band doesn't even reside there anymore. They're actually in Toronto! HA HA! Stupid Iranians! Wait, do Iranians read this site at all? Aw, Crap.)
[edit] The Clumsy Epoch
After touring for a few years, the band released their CD "Clumsy", named after Raine's habit of falling off stages. Their hit "Automatic Flowers" was written after Jeremy got lost in a book store without his glasses and ended up in the kids section of the store. The CD was so popular among Canadians and Americans that it ushered in a 1000-year era of Canadian/American peace and harmony, quickly ended during the administration of the disembodied head of George W. Bush, who bombed Nunavut in an effort to find the province's Lucky Charms.
[edit] The Jurassic Epoch
This is not a chapter in Our Lady Peace's history. It was just a nice transition. At least I think so.
Dinosaurs are fluffy.
There was a Russian Reversal in this article before...kind of like how the dinosaurs used to be here.
All of these things died.
So it goes.
I just want to know when Uncyclopedia got "standards."
Whatever. Next section:
[edit] "Happiness...Is Not a Fish That You Can Catch...But It Might Be a Bear That You Can Shoot"
Their next CD was hailed as being either really bad or really good, depending on if you wanted to keep your sense of rhythm or not.
"Happiness" is widely considered by fans to be the first album in which it really sounds in some songs like Raine was trying to have sex with either you, your hiccups, or a South African hippopotamus. This unique, puzzling, yet highly exciting sound led to the release of two singles, "One Man Army," which was written about Jeremy Taggert's disastrous attempt at a one-man (unarmed) invasion of Iraq, and "Thief," which was about all the stuff Jeremy stole in Iraq after his release from a Turkish prison.
"Happiness is Not A Fish That You Can Catch" was not a huge seller, mainly due to fans mixing it up with the soundtrack to "A Fish Called Wanda". Wanting to quickly fix the mistake, Our Lady Peace came out with the album "Spiritual Machines".
[edit] Spiritual Machines: ALL HAIL MACHINE OVERLORDS!!!
Fans of Our Lady Peace next had to endure "Spiritual Machines", which included the music video for "Life", which meant watching Raine Maida sing with, according to Ed the Sock, what looked like bird crap in his hair.
Make no mistake though...the machines are becoming intelligent and will some day turn against us all...
Oh yeah, and the album was okay. There's this one hidden track at the end consisting of a guy talking to this robot-voiced chick that he's apparently in love with. I jacked off to it because I have a total fantasy about robot sex. I know it's disgusting, but I couldn't help it. Robot sex is hot. So hot.
Paris Hilton is a robot, watching her have sex is hot, case in point. This has no real relevance to this article though, so let's move on.
The end point for guitarist Mike Turner though, who had already caught a nasty cold during the shooting of the music video "Thief", was when Our Lady Peace recorded a song for wrestler Christ Benoit. Mike, a hardcore fan of The Rock, was disgusted, and left the band as soon as he could. OLP's original producer also left in disgust, as he was a Kane fan.
[edit] Gravity and the Live album: Heavy Stuff, Much Like Your Girlfriend
For OLP's next CD, "Gravity", singer Steve Mazur came in, but was relegated to playing guitar. Bob Rock produced the CD, which was good. However, it was so good that OLP lost all the willpower to write. In any case, the CD marked turbulent times for the band.
"Gravity" was primarily known for its hit single, "Somewhere Out There," written about Raine's secret obsession with wanting to dress and act like Fievel from "An American Tail." The song quickly became a concert favorite of pre-teen girls who would rush to the front of the stage to sing along with it. Just to be funny, the band would follow the song with a harder and faster-paced song, which usually led to the pre-teen girls being swallowed up by moshers, drug dealers, and giant squid, all of whom tend to be dedicated fans of the band. In early 2003, 2,463,169 pre-teen girls were lost in an Our Lady Peace concert in Winnipeg, where a giant squid convention happened to be going on at the same time. The band expressed regret about the incident and issued a formal apology, which no one could understand because it was in Canadian.
After "Gravity," the band released a live CD taken from recorded shows in Montreal, Uranus, and Hell. Mixing the album was particularly difficult because of all the tormented wailing going on in the background during the Hell shows. Regardless, the album is generally considered Our Lady Peace's best, and is still a favorite of Satan's, who, after one of the 3 Hell shows, bought the entire OLP album collection as a replacement for his Marilyn Manson collection (it is a well-established fact that Satan and Marilyn Manson have not been on good terms since Manson fired him as his music video director in 2000). Despite Satan's repeated pleas, however, OLP remained non-committal about a possible music video directed by Satan, namely because of Satan's contract demands that Raine's new son Rowan be adopted by Satan to become the new unholy ruler of Earth. Raine has repeatedly denied this rumor in interviews, stating instead that Satan is "not metal enough" for the band's artistic direction.
[edit] Healthy in Paranoid Times: Aren't We All?
After the live CD, the band spent several years trying to sing lullabies for Raine Maida and his wife, Chantal Kreviazuk's, baby. The best they could come up with was the song, "Where Are You?" which was composed after a game of peek-a-boo with the couple's sons. The song is artistically uninspiring though, as the lyrics following every refrain are, "There you is! There you is!" Raine put this song, along with several others, on the newly-released CD "Healthy in Paranoid Times". It's their best album yet, and you're a GOD DAMNED HOSER!!! if you disagree.
[edit] Discography
Naveed...OR How I Learned To Stop Whining And Love the Birdman (1995)
Clumsy...OR Shit, Why Do I Keep Falling Off The Stage? (1997)
Happiness Is Not A Fish That You Can Catch...OR How Jeremy Learned Not To Unilaterally Invade Iraq (1999)
Spiritual Machines...OR Please Don't Kill Me, Mr. Robot, Sir! (2000)
Gravity...OR The Miseducation of Our Lady Peace (2002)
Live...OR Contractual Obligations Suck (2003)
Healthy In Paranoid Times...OR How To Drive Your Fans Crazy By Not Releasing An Original New Album For Nearly Four Years (2005)
A Decade...OR $14 US ($14 Canadian because the CANDOL is kicking the USAD's ass) for Two New Songs... and OLP can't count because they've been around for over 13 years (2006)
I Wear The Headdress (2007)
