P.O.N.G.
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"P.O.N.G. can suck a male pit bull's dick."
~ Wesley Willis on P.O.N.G.
“Pete Ownz NewGrounds.”
~ Evil Pizza on P.O.N.G.
P.O.N.G. is a highly experimental game engine, developed by GoreSoft™ in the year 1983. P.O.N.G. stands for People Obtain No Guns, denoting the fact that the game does not involve any guns, at all. It follows, therefore, that any game using this engine sucks.
[edit] Stats
Most games running on the P.O.N.G. engine feature 1-bit graphics, and little to no sound. The graphics interface is not designed to run with any graphics card, let alone a computer screen; using a P.O.N.G. game in a computer with either will make Bad Things happen.
[edit] The PONGBox
There has been only one console that ran the P.O.N.G. engine. It was called the PONGBox, and was introduced in 1982, a year before the engine was created, somehow. It utilized WoodWorx™ technology along with a SomeWires™ controller interface to create a fully engaging user experience. However, it was such a commercial failure that it was discontinued in 1981, before it was released, despite GoreSoft™'s repeated claims that, in fact, "It is not made of wood, I swear." One critic famously accused it of being "about as fun as a block of wood with a wire coming out of it."
