Hyperlink

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“Look it's a page of nothing but links. I must be so clever and original. You know what would be really clever? A word that wasn't a link. Nope. Unlinked emoticons, however, almost pass off as humorous. :) Unfortunately, one is yet to be found.”

~ Some Guy on Big Page Of Links

“I found it.”

~ Chuck Norris and Mr T on That One Unlinked Word

Hyperlinking is a real illness that starts in early linkage. It can change the way links act, think, and feel. Nearly all links are overactive and inattentive at times, but for Hyperlinks and their websites their behaviour can be extreme and disruptive.

Generally, Hyperlinks are found in basic website design, where links are unable to concentrate, constantly moves around and has poor performance compared to others.

Contents

[edit] History

Oscar Wilde said "A site of links fills the poor man's eyes with grief".

The idea of such a page arose in the late-teen hundreds after the death of Kong the First. Invented by Franz Ferdinand, links were seen as comic gold.

Also, Wikipedia, a poor parody of Uncyclopedia, is filled with Wikipedophiles (for further information on wikipedophiles, do not see normal people) that turn ordinary words, sentences, or even whole paragraphs into random links, (copying the Idea from this page) in an effort to be popular with other Wikipedophiles.

This all changed after the Second World War II, in which All Eyed commander Colonel Sanders was seen brutally assaulting Oscar Wilde with a link. Links were then outlawed, and could only be obtained in illegal internet cafés. One popular linkeasy was Abraham Linkton's Wild Ride, which is estimated to have been involved in the use of over a buh-hunnerd links a day.

Links have often been used as currency in some cultures. Most notably among political prisoners of war during the reign of King Ronald CMXVI which lasted from 1867 through 1867.5. Also, sausage links aren't always as tasty as they appear.

A wise link once said "Please stop fucking clicking me."

[edit] The Nature of Links

Links, as mentioned above, are the Pandora's box of the internet. Originally created as a plot device by television writers, they quickly gained sentinence and grew beyond thier twisted, overpaid makers control. The links leaked onto the internet where they began a parasitic (although admittedly useful) relationship with webpages everywhere. Links attach themselves to the lower intestine of the web page and live off the excess antimatter. Nearly all of the energy from the antimatter goes into collapsing the space-time continuum on the web browser display. The waste product irradiates the remains of the link, causing a mild phosphorescence and unleashing a powerful dose of radiation that will cause your children (God forbid) to be retarded. Researchers have determined that you won't notice. Radiation aside, the collapsing of space-time creates a wormhole that short-circuits the web browser, sending you to an annoying or unwanted site with a possibility of Millenium Hand and Shrimp.

[edit] Implementation

[edit] Cocksuckers like me add paragraphs like this

Paragraphs like this just piss people off because of their uselessnesss. ******* The stars to the right is where a non-link used to be. See? Not even funny. And all the stupid links that redirect to another word are annoying too. Sorry.

[edit] Java

[Innocent] 

class get more links {
	public static void main (String links []) {
		for(;;) {
			System.out.print(link());
		}
	}
	
	public static String link() {
		return "link "+link();
	}
}

will this do :-?<br>[/innocent]

[edit] Symptoms

- Difficult to read

- Frequent tantrums

- Lacks concentration

- More difficult to write

- Destroyed Square Bracket Open And Square Bracket Close keys

[edit] In case of death due to too many links

Well that's kinda too bad, you're fucking dead

[edit] Diagnosis

Its often that under maintained links are mistaken for being hyper. In any case, it is always advisable to test your links for hyperlinkage or other related conditions, as they may come to light. See your link specialist for more information.

[edit] Treatment

Selective use of Medication therapy is a common avenue of treatment. Expectations, limitations and potential side effects of the specific medication should be presented. Side effects are also important to note, as severe reactions can occur. Regardless, the understanding that medication use is not a cure -all is vital.

A less known medication is of course the great product, I Can't Believe It's Not A Hyperlink

Of course with early identification, the best cure is prevention. Remember to check all of your links, regularly. Only you can prevent Hyperlinks.

[edit] Famous Links

Below is a list of famous links and links to the aforementioned links.

This is a link. Do click it.

[edit] Real Links

[edit] See Also


Image:Stop_hand.png Article about a person or psychological condition written in the style of that person or a person in that condition

This article is funny because it is written in the writing style (or what one might imagine to be the writing style) of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an ignorance, cultural philistine, who does not recognize this fact without having it explained to you.]]

If you still do not find the article funny, that is probably because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. If you hadn't been so ignorant, then you wouldn't have needed to have the joke explained to you in the first place.

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Hyperlink"
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