Pancake Guilds
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[edit] The Pancake Guilds in Ancient Times
The Guilds were formed shortly after the Bloody Batter Incident. The chefs of France who chose the path of evil and dainty breakfast flatbreads formed The Pancake Guilds, the organization that sought to enslave the Flapjacks and make pancakes the dominate breakfast flatbread from a pan. Screw all the inferior carbs and their tasty goodness.
The Guilds got their start in the Russian drinking pub in a slum suburb of Paris called Dublin. In the pub, in their drunken stupor, the evil geniuses of France's cooking elite decided to exterminate all of the Flapjacks in the world. Their collusions helped in the creation of the bloody string of events known as the Flapjack Wars.
[edit] The Modern Pancake Guilds
Unlike their mortal enemies, the Guilds are a wide open group that freely lets anyone join their anti-Flapjack club. Their hundreds of years of treachery have paid off for them. The Flapjacks have largely been exterminated. This came about with the horrid murder of Smitty Werben Jegar Man Jensen in 1964 shortly after he created the Legendary 48 Flapjacks. With the death of Werben Jegar Man Jensen, the Pancakes had beheaded the Flapjack Protectorate and killed the world's last great Flapjack artisan. Ever since that day, the Pancake Guilds have enjoyed near total domination of the world as the preferred breakfast flatbread. With the domination of the world, came the certainty of a lasting victory. With debt to the Jewish Banking Clans at levels higher than the current American deficit, the Guilds decided to create the IHOP to celebrate their victory, turn a profit to pay off their debts and to reduce the wartime stockpiles of pancakes. In doing so, the IHOP chain relieved America's ulcers and reaped the benefit from selling the soothingly evil goods to an unknowing public.
[edit] Joining the Pancake Guilds
As a polar opposite to their counterparts, the Pancake Guilds will admit anyone into their ranks. Anyone who has ever eaten at an IHOP is immediately made a member. The pancakes that were consumed will sway the customer to join the ranks and will use the brain of the host to communicate with each other about sports scores and Zimbabwean war strategies every night while they experience REM sleep.
[edit] Famous Guilds
- The Pieter Jan pancake guild
- The Pancake Pieter Jan guild
- The Guild of Pieter Jan's pancakes
- The Pancakes of Pieter Jan guild
