Parents
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[edit] AHHH!! LLAMA
Parents a species on genetically mutated beings from deep within the earth's crust (known as the UnderDark. When 'parents' climb up out of the UnderDark they begin to care for children (children who can be anything from 0 to 87.5 years old). 'Parents' often have mood swings which can greatly confuse any one who is unfortunate enough to get in the way. 'Parents' tend to have a hard time understanding the simple concept of privacy ((not only with the not staying out of other peoples business but also with the not knocking before opening the door)) and "Shut the hell up". They also tend to suffer superiority complexs which make them act like jackasses.
[edit] PARENTS AND KIDS GET JIGGY WITH IT
A 'parents' relationship with a child can fluctuate greatly, for example: a 'parent' and child will be having fun, and then two hours later they will be having light saber duels after arguing over who is watching TV. Over time a child can grow greatly attached to its 'parent', this feeling is sometimes mutual.
Parents are a typically hypocritical species.[ like we dont know that allready] For example, while an offspring is in his late teens, talk of getting a license and or car may become a heated debate [which sucks cuz u should just hit your parents with a bat and then steal there wallets and go get the car anyway even though they said no]. While the mother tells you about how she was given a car the day she turned 16 only to total it a few weeks later [well that sucks for her but she shouldn't take it out on her child], as well as two more within the next year[and again, sucks for her], she still maintains her decision that because she was too immature to drive at 16, than that must mean you are also[that was her, not you]. HI MOM
But moms aren't the only hypocrites. fathers can be hypocritical too. Fathers never let their daughter have boyfriends because all they want is sex[no what they really want is beef tacos] while the dad tells his son about how he would prowl the college campus "Looking for some pussy." [why the hell would he say that if he probably did exactly that????]
Furthermore, parents also tend to enjoy the in-your-face-I-can-do-it-and-you-cant-because-you're-just-a-little-kid-ha-ha-ha-ha-nanny-nanny-boo-boo-contradictions FUCK THEM!!!]. For instance, a kid named Hobbes, no relation to Calvin's pet, is not allowed to play M rated video games[screw that] and is only allowed to Christian rock (the rap is "scandalous"), while the father goes upstairs in the den to play Grand Theft Auto[what the fuck?!?] while blasting Marilyn Manson or Tupac[that bitch!!].
Parents can also be very prejudice[no, really]. It seems as if the older child of the family is often the guinea pig and is used as an experiment to find out if things work for their children[got that right]. A boy named William Fetzko has a little brother named Michael. William was not allowed to get a cell phone[OMG] until he was in 7th grade[OMG]. Seeing that a child having a cell phone was a good idea after all, William's little brother got a cell phone for his double-digit birthday (10)while he was still in 5th grade[fuck that]. William is also blamed for everything that goes missing even though the father finds the keys in MICHAELS ROOM under his pillow[that sucks balls]. The mother blamed William for spray painting a window even though MICHAEL HAD PAINT ON HIS NAILS[that lying asshole!!]. Michael starts arguments in the car while William is driving and the mother blames William for arguing back even though Michael is the one starting the trouble, William is supposed to ignore him even though HE is the driver. Once William set up a boxing match with the kid down the street. The mother drove up and demanded that William hand over the gloves or else he is punished for 2 weeks. No sooner than William handed over the gloves, Michael jumps out waving around a new knife. Finally, during William's Freshman year, William was being harassed by a girly looking boy named Woody (Boner). One day, Boner though it would be funny to shine a laser in Williams eye. William, having had enough, got up and punched Boner in the face. William was suspended from school and grounded for a few weeks. Michael got in a fight with some kid because the kid nudged him in the hall. Michael waited for him outside the kids class and stabbed him in the head, and threw the body in a nearby bin. Upon hearing the news, the mother simply chuckled. Coincidence? I think not. IT was an act of Assholiness by the parental units and thus they shall not be trusted.
William is a dork[like we don't know that by now?].
The younger siblings are not the only ones who have it hard. Often, the younger sibling gets his/her own way even though they're being total pussys[they ARE total pussys]. No matter how much the older brother tries to explain to the parents, they still only see the younger siblings point of view. They often use frazes like "you're being illogical" or "I just can't deal with idiocy" or "are you on your period?". Parents don't actually seem to be very smart[they aren't], and the kids are under the impression that parents have control over them[they don't].
[edit] The Handbook
Very little is known about the handbook. It is said that is is an official guidebook to raising kids. It comes with a complete list of quotes to use when losing an argument, and also gives a list of "things to annoy the crap out of your kids". The handbook is said to be given to the parents by the stork, a mythical creature used to explain sex.
[edit] ASS-KICKING PARENTS
There was a kid named John who's parents knock the shit out him for nothing[sucks for him]. His parents trusted any little piece of shit more than they trust there own son[his parents are assholes]. One day a little jerk[his little brother, you can tell] hit his ass on the floor after slipping on ice. The jerk then blamed John[fuck him] and then his parents yelled at him without even listening to his story[fuck that]! What the hell! Even if they had heard his story they would have still yell at him anyway. What morons[yeah they suckkkkk]. Then one day John was wandering around and his friends little brother was following him. The when they couldn't find the two, John's parent yelled at him. I wonder who was following who? The damned little brother not John.
[edit] PARENTS CAN KISS MY ASS
However, despite this loving caring relationship that can form between a 'parent' and child, parents are still genetically mutated beings! This means that this loving and caring bond means nothing. The aim for all 'parents' is to take (by any means possible) more people to the UnderDark. This process normally occurs whilst the child is asleep, the 'parent' creatures tells any one who knows the child that they are moving house to France, however the reality is that they are moving house to the UnderDark! Once in the UnderDark, the young children mature and become fully grown 'parents' (through a process known as adolescence). This is how the 'parent' creatures' society grows.
