Patriots
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The Patriots are a very fucked up sandwich that has only two toppings, toamtoes and ranch dressing. if you find this, blow it the fuck up so you aren't taken over by this delicios yet fucktarded sandwich while a wampzoo is staring directly at you.
It is said that this organization controls the Fox Network and brainwashes everyone with theyre stupid programing. The Patriots have been known the supply their members with steroids manufactured by Chuck Norris' pubic sweat.
Oddly enough all the members of the Patriots are dead and or zombies.
The Patriots have cheated to win every super bowl, world series, Stanley cup, MLS cup, NBA finals,and oddly enough the Arena Bowl since 2025 through the year 3000.
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[edit] Their Porpouse
It is said that the porpouse of the patriots is to control the gobernment and take out the holidays and implement new ones. In the 90's they tried to change the tradition of christmas with another holiday called Festivus(See Seinfeld for further information) which was celebrated the 23th of December, thou some families were dragged to the tradition and left christmas, the rest remain with theyre original holidays and made this one a failure.
[edit] Their Achievements
Over the years the Patriots have controlled the potato production and currently own the Times Magazine, on 1960 they got some allies from the Kitten army and sent them as spies on the Cold War, where they got almost exterminated. It is said that they have a secret society formed by Oompa Loompas on the mid west of america.
the patriots went 19-0 and freking killed the giants and jordan head was on the team and broke 21 of his bones being water boy. he hasn't recovered from slipping on a ladybug.
[edit] Digital censorship
They intend to control the flow of digital information by messing around with Wikipedia. There super computer can delete information on the web and leave gaps of data which *** ********** *********** *** and **************** need scissors, *************************** *** ************ *** ******* ******* ******* ******** *********** ************* **** ******** **** *61 ******************************* which is how Liquid survived in an arm.
[edit] Members
George W. Bush was a former monkey member of the Patriots but got expelled due to his ineptitud and instead was sent to be Presidents, due to his lack of popularity among the citicens of America the votes had to be changed couse that was the only way he could win. He is known by his code name Oatmeal Snake.
It is said that Chuck Norris discovered the Patriots and tried to figh against them, but got offered an amount of helpless civilians to Roundhouse Kick that he accepted to become their secret spy.
[edit] Into the Spotlight
A vidoegame director named Hideo Kojima when smoking his pot, had a vision about this organization and included them on a sequel to the video game called Metal Gear Solid which was known just an attempt to get the gamers to see a 32 bit drama movie on a video game, he replaced Chuck Norris's character to aboid lawsuit with one of his previews character named Revolver Ocelot who was named this way for his fetish with revolvers.
