Paxil clowns

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The Paxil Clowns were a punk/thrash metal band from Connectthedots, existing for about 6 years around the turn of the 21st century. The Paxil Clowns members included some guy who always wore flannel shirts and had a unibrow, a cat, and a microwave that never worked too well. The flannel wearing guy played guitar and lead vocals, the cat ran around on a keyboard, and the microwave sometimes beeped at the end of a cooking cycle (on a good day when it actually worked).

[edit] Influence

The Paxil Clowns never experienced heavy mainstream success, but were influential to a few other more famous artists. Iggy Pop, after attending the famous, or more accurately infamous "Barnstormer" show, was noted to have described the Clowns music as having been "awe inspiring". It was after this that he bought a pair of Levi's 501 jeans and swore off Jif Peanut Butter for the rest of his life. He now only eats Peter pan peanut butter. Perhaps more notable however, is the fact that without the Paxil Clowns, Ashlee Simpson never would have had a musical career. For this the Paxil Clowns will always be hated. It was widely known within the music industry that the flannel shirt guy played on a guitar he constructed from waffles and polyurithane while waiting for a check at an IHOP in Groton, Connectthedots. It was a tradition at Paxil Clowns concerts for the flannel shirt guy to pick a girl at random out of the audience to come up on stage and take a smack in the ass from his waffle guitar. It just so happened that on the evening of February 8, 2000, Ashlee Simpson was chosen. As the waffle guitar made contact with her ass, it shattered. The flannel shirt guy fell to the ground in shock. Ashlee Simpson's reaction was quite different. She decided that if her ass had the power to break a waffle guitar, maybe she had a place within the music industry. The Paxil Clowns went into hiatus for a while after that concert, as the flannel shirt guy needed to build a new waffle guitar.

[edit] Barnstormer Show

For a while things were looking up for the Clowns, until one tragic night in late 2004. There was to be a large concert event held in a barn somewhere in Iowa on the night of October 21. This concert was going to be a benefit event for people named Ted who suffer from gout. Tragically, the Paxil Clowns were all high on a mixture of psychadellic mushrooms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch by the time they took the stage and began speaking in tounges. Actually they were speaking Norwegian. In Norwegian, they demanded the crowd to destroy the barn. There happened to be a Norwegian man in the audience named Torvald. Upon being instruced by his idols to destroy the barn, Torvald whipped out an M-60 machine gun and shot everyone, then got onto a tractor and rammed the barn until it collapsed. Everybody died, except for the flannel guy, his cat, and Torvald. Iggy Pop also survived but this was only because he left the show early because he had to go and coach his nephew's little league mumblety peg team. This was to be the end of the Paxil Clowns, as they could not continue performing without the microwave, who was always the moral support guy in the band who kept them going when things got rough.