Pearl
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“God, every time you masturbate, humans make a child. Think of the parents!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Population
Pearls are used in an ancient Scottish yard game called Pearling (sometimes, but incorrectly, called curling). Though most pearls are actually seed pods for small octopi and other Cthulhu-esque creatures, some things that are called pearls do not share this origin. For example, it's common knowledge that swine have no appreciation for pearls. There is, however, a variety of pearls that is related to truffles, and most pigs do display interest in these fungal pearls.
[edit] The Creation of Pearls
Everybody knows that the rain happens when God urinates, the hail happens when God takes a dump, the snow happens when God has a bad case of diarrhea. But the pearls are actually God's drops of sperm. Whether God is mastubating, hiring a ho (i.e. Mary) or just has sex with his daughter (Saddam Hussein)- it all forms pearls. The oysters represent the women's vagina, and the pearls represent the fertilized fetus.
[edit] Blüë Öÿstër Cült
Pearls used to be known to be hidden inside oysters (and, if the world is your oyster, why not?) However, due to the risk of being discovered by Blüë Öÿstër Cült fäns änd söld ät äüctïön tö päÿ för thëïr ëxpënsïvë ümläüt äddïctïön, many pearls have now sought refuge behind the Larry Wall, hiding themselves in special .PHP (pearl hiding place) files on data CD's, the last place Blüë Öÿstër Cült fäns would think to peek.
