Penguinmaniac
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A penguinmanic is a person or other intelligent or sentient being who is a member of the order of THE penguin, who is entirely obsessed with penguins, Penguin Porn (it turns them on) The way penguins act, and anything to do with penguins.
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[edit] THE penguin
Penguinmania began when Ouroboros decided that he didn't like penguins. He got all of his followers to eat their tails around the penguins, leaving them isolated from the rest of the world.
However, Penguins outnumbered the followers of the Gay donut by 1, and so of course, one penguin survived. This penguin was later to be known as THE penguin. THE penguin, having a fetish for hardcore gay porn, decided to spend the rest of his life as a porn star.
Realizing that he was the last surviving penguin, THE Penguin needed to start another race of penguins, before he finally died. His only choice was of course mutant half-human penguins, but that wasn't to hard to make judging by the amount of horny males he was surrounded by.
The new race of half penguin-humans, (nower days known as either penguins or humans, see below) began a cult around penguins, known as the penguinmaniacs. The Penguin gene for some reson is incompatible with the human gene (execpt in rare cases, this can cause odd mutations), so nearly exactly half of the penguin-human mutants are penguins, and the other half are humans, which explains the existence of human penguinmaniacs.
After the penguinmaniac race had been created, THE Penguin died of AIDS (Go figure) and departed into heaven.
[edit] Types of penguinmanics
Thier are numerous types of penguinmanics, Although one of the ideologies of Penguinmania is that you should make your own beliefs, independent from the main-stream religion. However, most independent types are based on one of the four main ranks of Penguinmania.
Penguinprophet
A Penguinprophet can be compared to a prophet of a god or the equivilent.
A Penguinprophet is the highest rank of Penguinmaniac there is. There is no-one higher. Penguinprophets are gifted with the ability to listen to their greater god, who is nothing else than THE penguin. The Penguinprophets supposedly listen to THE Penguin, and do whatever he says, which isn't much, regarding the fact that he is dead.
Penguinmaniac
See top of page
Penguinapprentice
A Penguinapprentice is a penguinmanic under the age of 10 who is being trained by a penguin. The goal of a Penguinapprentice is to achieve Penguinmaniac status through vigorous training involving many things, including penguin sex, studies of penguindo, Penguin liberation protests, and mass suicide in the name of THE Penguin.
[edit] Penguin Promise and Law
When a penguin-human mutant has reached the age of 5, he must swear the penguin oath, for him to ascend into Penguinapprentice status.
Penguin promise:
On my Honour i promise to
do my best penguin imperssanation
To do my duty to APG*
And to THE Penguin
To help other penguinmanics
And live by the penguin-law
Penguin Law A Penguinmanic is: frendily to everyone Not so frendily to anyone who kills dislikes etc penguins loyal to the penguin considerate to penguins cherrful and believs a good penguin joke can cheer anyone up Recites the penguin promise and law every time annother penguin comes their way.
[edit] Achievements
In reality, Penguinmania has only proven 2 things:
- How crazy people can actually get
- You don't have to be a woman to fall pregnant
[edit] Criticisms
- Most penguins are athiests, and therefore they do not believe in THE Penguin. Many of these heretical non-believers choose to attack the chosen penguinmaniacs using violence and discretion. Most of these terrorists are from the Millitant penguin terrorist group.
[edit] Millitant Penguinmaniacs
Penguinmaniacs forego the typical millitant penguin philosophy for a more, peaceful, small, penguinporny lifestyle. Any millitant penguin they see soon gets huffed and the corpse gets thrown into a grue pit.
WARNING: Penguin huffing is not the recommended creature to huff. Only penguinmaniacs can huff penguins. Normal humans/kittens would be better off huffing kittens/humans. Other creatures can only huff chickens.
