Penis enlargement

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You have new penis enlargement scams.

Penis Enlargement was a scam thought up by members of the Nigerian Royal Family in the late 1990's. It was claimed that there was in fact, a lost continent called Penisia, which was naturally rich in gold, diamonds and money, which was vastly over populated and required Enlargement to allow for the many wealthy people living there.

In order to enlarge the continent, the inhabitants needed to purchase land from the bottom of the sea, however, it was claimed that the Sea People (often referred to as "Sea Monkeys" by racist groups against blue skinned people) would not accept checks from the International Bank of the Penis, so Penisians would email nice people across the world, asking for bank details so that they could transfer money into these people's accounts to pay for the expansion of the continent, often by several inches.


This was in fact, a blatant lie. The Continent of Penisia is a small barren wasteland somewhere on the African planes, which no living person inhabits, though it is speculated that the Undead have established a kingdom there, and when bank details were given, the Nigerian Royal family would empty the accounts of the people who had provided details and then send them "Enlargement Pills" which were claimed to help with the enlargement of said continent by between 1 and 5 inches, but instead were simply watered down multi-vitamin pills.

The Nigerian Royal Family made quite a lot of money this way, but sadly to say invested it all in the marketing of their national sports Jelqing, Kegls and Stretching. The Stretching beeing the only one cathing on, their plans to make the three sports The Big Three on the planet is now seen as failed. The stretching is fairly simple and just consists of placing more and more golden rings around a virgins neck and in this way extending it. This making her socially exeptable for marriage. Extremely long necks is an absolute must for women in Nigeria.

Unfortunately, many unsuspecting people were taken in by these scams, and even today, you may find a poorly written offer for "Penis Enlargement" arriving in your mailbox. Although the Nigerian Royal Family have moved on from this ( they are currently claiming to be the tech department of your local bank, asking for you to confirm your details) other groups, such as the Illuminati, The Church of Scientology and Tescos, have been re-hashing the scam with ever less legible emails and ever more fantastic offers of how many inches your contribution will add to the fantastically rich continent of Penisia which will reward you by showering you with riches, women and parts in cheap porn flicks.

In fact, someone who is in definite need of some sort of penis operation is samuel james woodhead of Brompton.



In Mathematics, the Penis Enlargement is a transformation which, when applied to a line 8=D, produces the Koch curve.

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