People

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You may be looking for Soylent Green and not even know it!

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“Most people are other people. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on People

One of many people. Notice this one is cross-eyed.

People are everywhere these days, as they constitute the final phase of the STD "baby". Their prevalence in history is rarely notated, so we're going to drop some knowledge, old school style.

1 History
2 Anatomy
3 Did you know?
4 Frequent Uses of people to animals, Aliens, and Evil Robots
5 Everything else
6 Famous Quotes on People
7 See also

[edit] History

Sexiest Man Alive, 1992.

People were indirectly created by the aliens of Cyber Paris 64. (See L. Ron Hubbard) Though the inhabitants of this planet were known for their frequent defeat and surrender in times of war, their mechanical creations were known the galaxy over for being friggin hallarious.

Since their creation, people have been doing pretty amazing things: killing each other and blaming clubs, electing Bush (TWICE), killing each other and blaming spears, making world wars (TWICE), killing each other and blaming swords, making "Charlie and the chocolate factory" movies (TWICE), killing each other and blaming firearms, nuking a japanese city (TWICE) and killing each other and blaming nukes.

People Live Here

[edit] Anatomy

It is a common myth that people are consisted of organic parts. This is entirely untrue; whoever told you this should be kicked square in the nuts. For real. You should do it. The truth is that people are actually robots. You don't believe me? I guess you wouldn't. You're in the matrix.

"People are made up of two molecules added together: PEO + PLE → People, this process can be reversed to its earlier state of homosexuality."

Additionally, sex reassignment surgery is a popular and highly regarded form of irreversible anatomical transformation, especially amongst the bored and corpulent masses of North America. Yes.

General anatomy is shown in the above picture. People are actually hightech robots that look like people. They were created with super sperm and cock metals. Thus fused together to make a cumbot, which is also known as people.

You know what sucks? Most people. They stick their nose into your life and tell you it sucks as if you didn't already know. I say we shoot them, rip off shoes and socks, hang them by their ankles, force them to listen to Green Day while whipping their feet with wet noodles, the then drown them in tabasco sauce. I'm hungry and if you read this, you're hungry too. Now go eat.

[edit] Did you know?

A single people is called a person.

They have feet which consist of toes, a sole, and a heel which often smell bad.

People come in a variety of colors, and I don't want to be racist, I'll just say that white people are called crackas by black people because all African-Americans are racist.

Most people are created equal, but the idiots are inferior. Like your mom, for instance.

Adult People make up lies for their kid people, such as the "Easter Bunny" or "Santa".

They have days called "Holidays" just as an excuse to stop working. Lazy bums.

People treat their planet like crap, what with all the polluting and the gas prices and the Teletubbies! People will eventually cause the extinction of their own pathetic race in the Earth Year 2008 A.D. Hahahahahahahaha-oh, wait ... damn.

Aliens think that humans are retarded. Aliens from across the galaxy watch humans via hacking into their satellites. They then record the retarded things we do, make a collab, dub it Earthling's Dumbest Videos and send it to alien televisions across the galaxy, where it's hosted by Tom Cruise and displayed to aliens such as Space Pirates, the Covenant, and God, who then laugh at us from (239,467,848,484.574 times pi) miles away. So if you plan on kitten huffing or making your head asplode, do it inside. Aliens alienated humans long back due to their bad habits.

[edit] Frequent Uses of people to animals, Aliens, and Evil Robots

A frequent use of people.

Snacks: Snacks are things people eat, and get fat from, and die. People are considered a delicacy in some cultures. The worlds 3^rd best selling snack food even happens to be made of People! So enjoy a healthy steaming bowl of People! (Though Soylent Green is people, people are not necessarily Soylent Green.)

Many alien cultures enjoy eating the soles of the feet from people.

Recreation: People are frequently used for recreation. Many locations allow you to rent people for a few hours at a time. Typically, pro creative actions ensue, and the upshot is that you feel a whole shitload better afterwards. You should totally try it sometime.
Production: Nearly 42% of all commercial goods bought, sold, refined or manufactured are produced by People. (For economic reasons, all production is limited to China nowadays)
Stress Relief: If you are feeling stressed, try killing People. It has been shown to be a profoundly calming activity. If you have already killed several people and still feel stress, maybe the problem is with you. You should try killing yourself. This will end all your problems, 100% guaranteed.
Protection from the Elements: Let us say that you are walking on a street, and you find a mud puddle impedes your progress. Knowing that mud is icky, you wouldn't want any to get on you, you'd be contaminated. Thus, to protect yourself from the icky mud, grab some People and throw them into the mud puddle. Surprise! Instant bridge! Now you can safely cross over your People Bridge without getting any icky mud on you!
Protection from your Enemies: Maybe you have enemies who want to do to you bodily harm. Surrounding yourself with enough People will provide a layer of protection capable of stopping even the most tenacious assassin from shooting you in the face
Fuel: People are viable and renewable energy resource that can be harvested directly.
Entertainment: People are also used in things called movies, which are sent to magic boxes for viewing people doing ignorant things. Don't be fooled though, the more attractive people are just latex with a magic box controlling their actions through a number slab called a keyboard.

[edit] Everything else

Theory #1: There are exactly three types of people in the universe: Those who can count, and those who can't.

Theory #2: There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary numbers and those who don't.

Theory #3: You are stupid. Wait, that's not a theory, that's true. Hahahahahahahhahahhah.

In general, people are stupid. Very stupid. I mean, mind numbingly stupid. The stupid joke that appears just above this is a perfect example of the sheer stupidity of people. This is not to say that it is bad that people are stupid - after all, if it weren't for the stupidity of people they'd never be dumb enough to call down the wrath of the ninja, and we'd all miss out on some great ninja ass-kicking stories.

Pretty much the only good thing about people is sometimes they turn into zombies. In such an event, they can make more mindless idiotic drones into mindless drones (zombies) and so any zombie outbreaks should be generally ignored until enough of a plot has developed and so a movie can be made.

It is also commonly unknown that some people aren't people. This is because they aren't actually people, or are a figment of our collective unconsciouses, or are playing pretend with the neighborhood girls.

Oh, well, maybe some other stuff some dude wrote about in a book somewhere. I dunno. Get off my dick.

It should be noted that certain People are notably unstupid. Most often these people are referred to as Registered Uncyclopedians. If you ever meet a Registered Uncyclopedian, immediately offer them their choice of any 3 sexual favors you could provide.

[edit] Famous Quotes on People

“People are strange- period.”

~ Jim Morrison on People

“There are three types of people in the world: Dicks, Assholes and Pussies. Assholes want to just shit on everything and make a mess. Dicks just want to fuck all the time while Pussies get fucked by Dicks. When assholes shit too much, pussies can become assholes and Dicks won't be any good for anything if they get covered in shit.”

~ The guy in the pub in "Team America"

“Some of my childhood friends recently told me that they were, in fact-fullness, people. Frankly, I was shocked and amazeded. Who'da thunk that little tipsy suprise-suprise?”

~ Al Gore on People