Perfect woman

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“The latter word contradicts the former word, I'm afraid”

~ Oscar Wilde on the perfect woman

The perfect woman is a woman who is perfect.

Throughout the years many have quested for the perfect woman; though some claim to have found her, these claims are often disputed by others; many have concluded that the perfect woman is mythological or extinct.

[edit] History

The first recorded stories of a perfect woman date from around 8,000,000,000 BC (give or take a couple million years). The Earth is only 4.000,000,000 years old. Though in this early age, she is merely referred to as a mythological creature. There are no recorded sightings of a perfect woman. Over the years the concept begins to change into more of a legend, a creature of which only one single specimen exists. Though the idea of a woman may very well have started out as a fantasy, the common consensus amongst scientists is that she may very well exist or have existed, or even may still be to exist in the future.

[edit] Theories

Many philosophers have thought about what qualities the perfect woman must exhibit. Some argue that because every man has different wishes for a women, there cannot be a universally perfect woman. Other philosophers argue that the perfect woman is "flexible" enough to be able to meet the wishes of any man, how different these wishes may be. Yet another group of people believe that the characteristics the perfect woman should exhibit should be determined by the majorities wishes and the minority necrophilia should be discarded; many few this theory as discriminating.

[edit] Characteristics

Despite the various different ideas on the theory of the perfect woman, many people believe that a rough list of characteristics can be made. The following is a by-no-means-exhaustive list of possible qualities.

• The perfect woman... must be beautiful.
• The perfect woman... must be able to cook well.
• The perfect woman... must be rational
• The perfect woman... must not have a period once a month.
• The perfect woman... must have a big, tight ass
• The perfect woman... must have nice, no PERFECT legs
• The perfect woman... must have some delicious cherry pie
• The perfect woman... must enjoy sex more than her significant other
• The perfect woman... must be between 15 and 29 years old.
• The perfect woman... must not have a penis.

[edit] Candidates

The following list is again by no means exhaustive. (Please add as you see fit.) Also note that many of the women on this list are imaginary.

• Caitrin - Exotic and unbelievably adorable; God made her specially, she's part dreamchild and part nymph. One of the last American Unspoiled Virgins, is in some video on the internet where she lip syncs a foreign song. Rumor has it she's only 15. Her cherry pie is the freshest. She's almost 16 but she tastes like she's barely eleven.
• Simone - An intellectual, naturally beautiful cuteling. Has a thing for tall people though. She wrote some book about fiveteens.
• Rihanna - The tits, the ass and the legs. Tied as one of God's two best works to date.
• Alizée - French pop star, part angel and part nymphet, she is what all other women wish they were.
• Keira Knightley - Proud member of the I can't Act But I'm English and Hot Club. NO TITS
• Jenya aka Katie Fey - God's best work to date. shes a fuckin stunner like
• Jessica Simpson - God's second best work at the moment
• Elisha Cuthbert - She was created by God in 61 AD as the perfect woman, after his discontent with Eve, Virgin Mary, and Tinkerbell. God has never affirmed or denied that he indeed created the perfect woman.
• Kate Beckinsale - Prototype for the perfect woman before God's invention of Elisha Cuthbert. Accidentaly employed a British accent on her.
• Kari Byron - Gods first try at the perfect woman, sadly, she was not accepted by most fans, and her character was killed off, much to the dismay of her few loyal fans.
• Jam Kuradoberri - Though she is a fictional character, she is often thought to be a good example of what the perfect woman might be like.
• Rachel McAdams - The Canadian hottie has top marks and, well, she's Canadian, so she's gotta be hot!!
• Sophia - Although technically not a woman but a deity, she was the first feminine creature and is by some regarded as the best and the most beautiful feminine creature of all times and therefore also a contender for the title of perfect woman.
• Anti-Sophia - Some argue that if Sophia is considered, the spiritual concept of Anti-Sophia should also be considered. This is not a very popular view.
• Marilyn Monroe - She is also sometimes considered as there is not a man on this planet who does not find her sexy. Opponents, however, deduct from the fact that Arthur Miller cheated on her, that she could not possibly be perfect.
• Some French chick - Because so many men (even ugly ones) have had such easy access to her and she is so easy to dispose of afterwards, Some French chick is also considered to be the perfect woman.
• Tifa Lockhart - Tifa may be fictional character from Final Fantasy (notice the word "fantasy") but she does fill all the requirements to be the perfect woman. She is beautiful, she enjoys the sport of chocobo racing, she can cook well and she likes and supplies beer (because she works in the bar 7th Heaven).
• Jessica Alba - Jessica has been hot since the days on the reality TV show 'The Secret World of Alex Mack'. She could kick just about any guys ass but still looks amazing in a bikini. Just ask your friend from the last time he was hiding in the bushes staring. She looks perfect in any hair color and looks great even in granny panties during the GQ photoshoot.
• Belldandy - Even though she gets drunk on soda instead of beer and dates a colorless tech-school loser who hasn't even kissed her after nearly 2 years of romance.
• Cecília Lindgren - She knows when romanticism begins and ends, can use Google very well and has just got a beautiful haircut. What can I say?
• The Blonde One - Come on! She's Swedish! What more reason do we need to include her?
• The Supremes- yes all of them, they're Supreme, for Gawd's sake!
• Fu Manchu's Daughter - as portrayed by Myrna Loy - She spanks other women!
• Fu Manchu's Other Daughter - as portrayed by Tsai Chin - She gives very best duck!
• Janet Reno- Wait... no... that is a dude. My bad.
• Kelly Brook - Best of British - I mean come on, how much hotter can you get without melting everyone in the room?
• Lucy Liu - Dunno just think i have a thing for chinese women, oh and she kicks ass
• My girlfriend - Relative unknown, but worshipped by every male who ever sets eyes on her, whether they realise this or not.
• Lauren Caitlin Upton Miss Teen South Carolina 2007
• Pam Beesly- If you don't like her, you're gay. Unless you're just into the dark meat - in which case fuck you, cause no one's hotter than Pam, no matter how fine her booty is.
• Angelina Jolie- holy s**t, nuff said
• Celina Jaitley - she has the dream body indians fuck everyday, in their wet dreams though.