Pesto
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An independent island state off the coast of South America, Pesto was first discovered by the great Portuguese explorer Basil Brush in 1785, who reputedly arrived at the island by chance while searching for the legendary Back Passage to the Pacific. At the time of Brush's arrival, the land was covered in lush woodland, which was quickly removed by the Portuguese and replaced with vast plantations, growing tea, coffee and Horlicks plants to satisfy the increasing demand in Europe.
[edit] People
The indigenous natives (the "Pestoffs") are a small, sullen race. They exist in a permanent state of disgruntlement, possibly as a result of the permanent force nine gales which sweep the island, due to the lack of trees. Although they are now thoroughly integrated with the immigrant Portuguese workforce, they can be distinguished by their large feet and distinctive whiff of marzipan, caused by their persistent almond smoking.
[edit] Six things you need to know about Pesto
- Exports: Malty bedtime drinks, goat parts
- Major imports: Marzipan, windbreaks
- The capital city, Basilica, is unique in being the only city in South America which is technically edible
- Pesto can only be reached by paddle steamer once a month. However, sixteen paddle steamers depart from Pesto each day. Nobody knows where they come from.
- A local Pestoff saying goes, "Fart on Pesto and everyone smells it". This gained the Pestoffs a reputation as an open society without secrets. In reality, however, the saying is a literal one.
- Don't go there
