Phantasy Star IV
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“Guys, isn't it a little weird that every one of our names is exactly 4 letters long?”
~ Chaz
“Ok, so Wren gets a high powered plasma assult rifle, Demi gets a rocket launcher, and I get a mythril dagger and a leather sheild?”
~ Hahn on Feeling ripped-off
| Phantasy Star IV | |
|---|---|
| | |
| Developer(s) | Tony Snow |
| Publisher(s) | SEGA |
| Designer(s) | Your Mom |
| Engine | |
| Latest version | 6.9 |
| Release date(s) | 1975 |
| Genre | RPG |
| Mode(s) | Play and Off |
| Rating(s) | ESRB: K-A Kids - Adults, does that make any sense? |
| Platform(s) | SEGA Genesis |
| Media | |
| System requirements | Power, Television, 3rd grade reading ability. |
| Input | |
| Monthly fee | {{{fee}}} |
| Active players | {{{players}}} |
Phantasy Star IV: The End of the Millennium Edition is a Turn Based RPG that was released for the SEGA Genesis in 1975, but no one cared until 1995. It is widely regarded as the greatest RPG realeased for the SEGA genesis, which can be equivicated to being the best long jumper at the Special Olympics.
Contents |
[edit] Plot
[edit] Setting
Phantasy Star IV has 2 major lacations, the first half of the game appears to take place in post-apocalyptic New Mexico, the second half takes place in the northern tundra of Canaduh. Like all Phantasy Star Games to date, the story takes place in a time where fully-automated androids roam the cities as civilians, Children are given high powered plasma fire-arms for their 13th birthday, but people still use steel swords and wear chain mail.
[edit] The New Millennium
Phantasy Star IV features a long and thick plot that begins in a town called Piata, where our young hero named Chaz and his bounty hunting partner Alys are given an assignment to exterminate all of the rubber johnny baby looking creatures that appeared in the basement of a school. Eventually they find out that this evil sorcerer named Zio is working for the Satan-esque God called Dark Force and they must stop Zio before he destroys the planet. They go to his castle and ZOMG....
[edit] ZIO KILLS ALYS ZOMG, ALYS DIES
Alys gets hit with the Black Wave spell and she dies a little later on! ZOMG spoiler alert!
[edit] And then
They meet some more characters, they go to this Snow covered planet called Dezolis and fight Dark Force over and over again while dealing with some useless sub-plots. Eventually he ripps a hole in the middle of the planet and the characters go into what is presumably a parellel of the biblical Hell, they find Dark Force, it turns out Dark Force in it's true form is a hot naked chick statue, they kill it with some legendary sword, and then this happens:
[edit] The Ending
Here you can see the amazingly articulate and elaborate dialog that graces the entire game from start to finish.
[edit] Main Characters
[edit] Chaz
Chaz is the main character of the story. He is a 16 year old blonde haired school drop out that enjoys killing small woodland creatures with his 11" long hunting dagger. By the end of the game, he's using his other 11" object with Rika, who is technically 1 years old making Chaz a pedophile.
Weapon: Sword
Strength: His overly exaggerated Americanized attitude and appearence.
Weakness: Algebra
Favorite food: Pizza
Favorite band: Good Charolette
Portrayed by: Macaulay Culkin
[edit] Alys
Alys is the bad-attitude, money hungry, cool bitch of the gang. Pretty much like Xena. Even though she's almost as cool as Xena, she dies at the middle of the story, and you're left with 'don'tgointootherpeoplecabinets!' fucking Chaz. She uses a fucking boomerang ! Pimptastic.
Weapon: Boomerang!
Strength: Boomerangs! and bitching.
Weakness: Boomerangs!
Favorite food: Green Eggs and Ham!
Favorite band: Four Non-Blondes
Portrayed by: Lucy Lawless!
[edit] Hahn
Hahn is a young academic scholar at the school in Piata. Character-wise, he is an insecure, bumbling girly-man. Battle-wise, he sucks at everything while having kidergarden-like abilities in everything. He is the equivalent of a Battle Mage.
Weapon: Daggers
Strength: Dying
Weakness: Enemies
Favorite food: CapriSun pouches
Favorite band: Coldplay
Portrayed by: Aaron Carter
[edit] Rune
Rune Walsh is a middle aged mega-wizard who towards the end of the game is revealed to be the Phantasy Star universe equivalent of God, called Lutz. He is cocky and arrogant, and makes fun of midgets through-out the entire game.
Weapon: Magic
Strength: Everything
Weakness: Nothing
Favorite food: Baby Animals(but he can absorb energy from everything)
Favorite band: Depeche Mode
Portrayed by: Chuck Norris
[edit] Demi
Demi is the 4'11" female android. She is kinda dumpy, but totally do-able. She has green hair, which clearly indicates she listens to alternative punk.
Weapon: Some giant guns that are bigger than her.
Strength: Plasma bullets
Weakness: Cell phones
Favorite food: 'Double A' Batteries
Favorite Band: Green Day
Portrayed by: Roseanne Barr
[edit] Gryz
Gryz is a 19 year old blue-thing that is a native sentient being of the desert planet. The specie of 'thing' he is is the Phantasy Star equivalent of Black People.
Weapon: Axe
Strength: Strength
Weakness: Agility
Favorite food: Fried Chicken and Watermelons
Favorite band: Strapping Young Lad
Portrayed by: Ronnie Coleman
[edit] Rika
Rika is a cat-chick who was genetically created by a computer. She is only 1 year old, but looks like a 17 year old goth chick, but has the preppiest, girliest, out-going attitude.
Weapon: Claws
Strength: Lisa Frank artwork
Weakness: Sunlight
Favorite food: Processed hotdogs
Favorite band: N/A (Rika doesn't know what music is)
Portrayed by: Sandra Bullock
[edit] Wren
Wren is a 998 year-old android created to maintain the weather and climate control systems of the algo solar system. He is lampooned for his outdated hardware and software (still running on Windows '95). A crucial moment in the story line involves a town being destroyed because of his incompatibility with Firefox.
Weapon: GunZ
Strength: Awesome Screen-Savers
Weakness: USB drives
Favorite food: Orphans
Favorite band: Metallica
Portrayed by: The Rock
[edit] Raja
Raja is some goofy alien looking E.T. monkey old guy thing. He is a native creature being of the snow planet Dezolis, who are the 'real world' equivalent to eskimos. Much like the person who wrote this article, he thinks he is funny and clever, but really isn't.
Weapon: Staff/Magic
Strength: Barbed-Wit
Weakness: Heavy-Lifting
Favorite food: Owl-schkabobs
Favorite band: Little Richard
Portrayed by: Gandhi
[edit] Kyra
Kyra is the boomerang using chick that replaces Alys. She is a member of a religious group of people who worship 'The Lutz', making them the real-world equivalent of Fundamentalist Christians.
Weapon: Jesus Christ
Strength: God
Weakness: Common Sense
Favorite food: Crackers and Wine
Favorite band: Creed
Portrayed by: Jojo
[edit] Trivia
- When you reach level 99, a glitch occurs that no one cares about.
- There has been over 50 counted refferences to the Christian Bible within the dialog and plot.
- There is a strip club behind the bar in Aiedo.......seriously there is. Pixle tits are hot!!
- Music score by Eiffel 65.
- Studies show that Phantasy Star fans tend to like raves, manga and listen to ATB.
[edit] See Also
Categories: Video games | Phantasy Star Series | Games | Role playing games | SEGA | Robots | Final Fantasy | Shit





