Philip Ruddock
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| CENSORED |
| This page is censored by an authoritarian regime claiming that it is for your own good. |
Philip Maxwell Ruddock (Hatched March 12, 943 a.d.), Australian politician, was Generally-Attorney like but more often acted like a Nazi in the Coalition Government of Australia's Prime Minister John Howard.
Contents |
[edit] Hatching & Growth
Ruddock was hatched in Berowra, New South Wales, the spawn of the devil, and also a river of evil. He was brainwashed at Barker College in the Sydney suburb of Hornsby and the University of Sydney, and became a solicitor. He joined the firm Berne, Murray and Tout, and was promoted to partner. Several attempts to trap him have failed and the question of whether he is a reptile, vampire or just garden variety ghoul is unresolved.
[edit] Spread of Evil
In 1973, he was elected to the House of UnRepresentives, as a Liberal member for the seat of Parramatta. He shifted to the seat of Dundas in 1977 and to Berowra in 1993. In the 1980s and early 1990s, he was an active member of the parliamentary group whose sole purpose was to destroy Amnesty International.
[edit] Consolidation of Evil
In 1996, when the Liberals gained office, Ruddock was appointed to the Cabinet as Immigration Minister. In this role, he presided over the Howard government's hardline policies on asylum seekers. He maintained and extended the practice of mandatory detention of asylum seekers, and personally tortured people in the Tampa crisis and threw children overboard a boat in the Timor Sea.
These events made Ruddock one of the most popular Australian politicians, but some clever organisations such as Amnesty International have cleverly attempted to distance their organisation from him. The asylum seekers issue played a significant role in the Liberal victory at the 2001 election, and Ruddock was subsequently rewarded with the additional portfolio of Indigenous Affairs. By 2001 he had become a hero of the Liberal Party's rank-and-file, while being a despised villain to left-wing activists and human rights advocates alike. At one point he was one of the few senior ministers (besides the prime minister) to have needed a personal security detail. Attempts on his life are not discouraged by the populace.
[edit] Evil Gatekeeper
If you do have enough money, you can pay Ruddock to gain entry to Australia. There is no need for payment in advance, just carry it on you when you arrive.
Upon entry to Australia, Ruddock greets each and every asylum seeker by saying "HOLD UP ID PRICK". This is an anagram of his own name, solid proof that he is even more eviler than evil itself.
[edit] Even More Evil
Ruddock is now the Attorney-General of being an arsehole. He is now responsible for the government's policy of removing all basic human rights for Australians and anyone else entering Australia, in the interest of national security of the Liberal Party's staying in governme...............


