Phrenology
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| Parts of this article were originally sporked from Wikipedia's article on Phrenology. |
Phrenology (from Greek: Íōmρ, lump and fφηδl!πg, fondling) is the science of determining character and personality traits from the shape of the head (fondling "lumps").
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[edit] History
- Phrenology was developed in secret by the Culinary Institute of America who used it for personality testing new recruits.
- Phrenology was the most popular parlour game amongst dainty Victorian ladies in the 19th century. They would invite a phrenologist (normally male), to fondle their lumps and tell them what kind of ladies they were. Inevitably he would determine they were a bunch of naughty little minxes. The accuracy of this was astounding, but the intimacy of his touching the ladies' heads led to many a scandal in polite society. This increased phrenology's popularity by 10,000%.
- Fraudulent Psychoanalysts have attempted to label Phrenology a pseudoscience.
[edit] How It Works
The principles of Phrenology are that bits of the brain perform different mental faculties. Lumps in parts of the skull indicate a lumpy brain, and thus the individual's propensities in these areas.
[edit] Shapes Of The Head
- Triangular: People with triangular heads should be avoided.
- Banana-Shaped: People with banana-shaped heads tend to burst from other people's chests.
- Round: People with round faces should choose angular frames that give definition to their faces.
- Cuboid: I don't like people with cuboid heads.
[edit] Phrenology Now (Things that go bump in the night)
If you feel someone feeling your head at night when you're sleeping, it's perhaps your mate checking out your lumps to see if you're loyal. However, if you feel someone poking around your head and you live alone, be very afraid: information is being collected about you, possibly by the Culinary Institute of America.
[edit] Related
Women interested in finding out about more than their prospective partners brain may be interested in phrenology's sister skill, phallology.
[edit] See Also
 | Divinatory Arts and Artists |
| Antropomorphing | Astrology | Augury | Ball gazing | Clairvoyance | Dice | Fortune cookies | Magic 8-Ball | Monopoly | Necromancy | Negromancy | Nostradamus | Numerology | Palmistry | Phrenology | Precognition | Prophecy | Psychic | Scatomancy | Tarot | Telepathy | Wheel of Fortune |
