Pieland

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WARNING In accordance with the OMG U SRS???// act of 2002, all content of this article is to be believed, with no disputes whatsoever. (Hey, you voted for Bush)

The location of Pieland, also known as New Piezililand, is not exactly known by most people. Many believe for it to be under the stairs or in the North Atlantic. Some believe it is located in a temporal warp located between Mrs. Wardsley's (12 Roxbough Avenue, Lancashire) dressing table and the neighbouring clothesline. Others believe it is in fact a figment of the Great Flying Handkerchief of Brett's imagination. While the second theory is widely supported by that taxi driver guy off Mission Impossible, the first is endorsed by Ray Charles. Bow to Ray. Bow.

[edit] Trade

Pieland has 159% of it's trade in exporting Pies; the other 41% is exporting the world's hardest, yet most flexible metal, pietanium. Pieland's only imports are the ingredients for the pie (except of course, the pieberry which is a native berry to Pieland and is necessary for the best pie creation)

[edit] Traditions

The well known traditions are pie week, (the second week of February) and pie-fest (3 months in summer dedicated to music, pie and the numerous Gods who created Pieland).During these festivities Pie Holes (the correct term of reference for the people of Pieland) get utterly "Pie-Faced" where with in the excitement of such overexposure of genral pie substance, their faces become ridiculously large and and often crusty -hence "Pie-Face". Those who become so overwhelmed by Pie that they can no longer support their massive Pie head is honoured the years "Ginormous Pie Hole" award- traditionally a big pie. Another tradition is to eat a cherry pie with a ruler, or anything that can measure (everyday) not forgetting Pieland's famous "where's Waldo" Convention where someone is chosen to be "Waldo" and a photo is taken with him with all the rest of the convention, the first person to find him gets to be Waldo next year. It has become a national obesssion for Pie Holes annually to attempt to enter into the popular records book Ginsterrs Edible Book of Pie Records. Such records include "Best Dressed Pie" "Most Elaborate Matryoshka Pie" and "Pie Joke that generated most laughter among Pie Holes".

PieLand according to Google, Outline shows old Pieland.

[edit] Revolutionary Discoveries

With the exception of Pie and Pietanium, many different discoveries not related to pie has been made, such as edible N00bs, lickable signposts, watermelon bowling balls, and fireproof grues. There is no real need for these things obviously except edible N00bs and fireproof grues, which will make the world a better place. The others were a good idea at the time, and still are now. As the dawn of the year 2000 came, people thought of the Y2K would cause Spontaneous Human Combustion (SHC), so a Cure was made for it; but after the Y2K theory was proven wrong, the cure was thrown away even though it would show how SHC happens. Many people think this is the biggest lie ever told, even bigger than the hummingbird conspiracy, as everyone knows that God was the reason for SHC, meaning that scientists found the cure for God, but then threw it away.

Those obsessed with so-called-experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Pieland.

[edit] War

The Pie War started in 2101 and finished at 2112. The main reason for the War was the great pieberries and the great stringed instrument in the temple. After the war with the evil penguins, Pieland was in ruins. Although the Anti-penguin army of Pieland had stuffed the evil penguin king Pingu in a toaster and set him up the bomb, they had been harmed greatly. The old Pieland itself asploded due to a terrible final assault by the remains of the penguin army. (They took off every zig.) This meant that a new pieland had to be founded. Pieland's main weapons are pie-launchers, The kamikaze division of the Anti-Penguin army (APA) and grue grenades. Pieland has a formula explaining war (then again, who doesn't?).

[edit] Old Pieland

According to legend Old Pieland was attached to the Southern coast of Ireland. Old Pieland was a mythical place, said to be where the first pie was made, but this is disputed by modern historians. After a scuba diver discovered the Temple of the Four Universes (aka the temple of Syrinx), Pieland rejoiced, as this proved the existence of Old Pieland and also told us when the penguins took of every zig, which was 2112.

Thanks to a sudden earthquake, Pieland is now a island near the Noobish Territories (formerly USA and Canada).

[edit] Religion

Many religions have been created and fallen in Pieland, the foremost of which were trianglism (the worship of triangles) and the current Pieism (which is pretty obvious)

[edit] Military

The National army of Pieland has many divisions, the best known of which is the Anti-penguin army after their merciless defeat of the evil invading forces of the penguin army. Pieland also has pie ninjas, who were used when Japan nearly stole the pieberry plants and tried to plant them in Japan. The armies created for the Battle of Time and Space include the armies of The Mutated Monkeys (who spit poisonous frogs at the enemy, some call them Fronkeys), The Drunken Gay Austrian Army, Unholy Creatures of the Night, The Angry Pigeons, Twilight Vampire Watermelons, Yugoslavian Ninja Leprechauns, Unicorns, Griffins, Centaurs, Gargoyles, Wizards, Elves, Trees, Dwarves and many many more. This War is meant to be in the Year 2142 AC (After Chavs) in the holiday of Pie week.

The world renowned Cat-Turtle

[edit] Wildlife

There is a huge amount of wildlife on Pieland. The most well known of these that is unique to Pieland is the cat-turtle. The cat turtle has been around for many years, since the time of the nuclear power station leak. Since then the cat-turtle has become a symbol of Pieland showing just what a great place this is. Although Pieland is a country that loves its wildlife, any penguins found within its waters will be shot on sight under the law of treason.

Another unfortunate inhabitant of Pieland is Rosie O'Donnell, who currently employs the use of the cat turtles as guards for her hidden sex dungeon.

[edit] Allies

Pieland has many Allies around the world, some being the Noobish territories, Atlantis and The International Island of Grues. Pieland has constant Trade links with these places exporting the pies and other money making products With hope that we will be a more prosperous island.

[edit] Tourism

One of the many site seeing attractions in Pieland is the Triangle Temple, the University of Pwnology, The Bronze Uber Statue and the Historical Museum of Historical History.

It's really great there... please <insert name here>, Go to this wondrous Island, PLEASE! Their tourism industry needs the money...
(if we get enough money, we will have a giant theme park!)

[edit] The Typo

One of the more troubled periods in Pieland history began with the World Atlas mistakenly labeling Pieland as Poeland. This attracted all manner of undesirable tourists and weird occurrences. Within days the country was overrun with ravens squawking "Nevermore", and covering the landscape in copious amounts of feathers and an unmentionable substance (raven droppings). This was very bad for the pies and anyone who happened to be outside, but did wonders for the galoshes and rainhat industries. It was downright disastrous for the house of Mr. Usher, the roof of which the ravens chose as their favorite roosting place, causing the entire house to fall under their weight. Many residents encountered a man asking "Hello, my name is William Wilson, have you seen me?", prompting the resident in question to slowly back away. There was also the man who wandered around aimlessly, sobbing and wailing "Leeeenooooorrrrreeeee, hey, Leeeenooooorrrrreeeee" when he wasn't shaking his fist and shouting at the ravens to get off his door and leave his loneliness unbroken. The Pieland Post Office was plagued with reports of purloined letters. Police were flooded with complaints of a person or persons unknown vandalizing houses by breaking in and ripping up the floorboards. There were also rumors of homicidal orangutangs and giant hedgehogs saying "Dinsdale?", but these were not taken seriously, as everyone knows orangutangs and giant hedgehogs cannot abide ravens and begin projectile vomiting if they see one. The situation was finally remedied when the World Atlas published it's New and Improved Atlas, correcting the erroneous Poeland label. Unfortunately, this time they mislabeled it as Poland, which led to a whole new set of problems, unfunny Polish jokes not the least of them.

The writer of this article has become hopelessly, helplessly stuck. If you can lend a hand, give it a push. Or, leave some advice on the talk page. See other stuck articles in Category:Stuck articles needing a push.

MOAR COWBELL

(Well, actually, if you strike the side of a rusty can with a stick it sounds so much more gratifying.)