Pikachu

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This page contains Pokémon!
Don't get hit by flying members of Team Rocket,
and make sure that dumb bitch Misty doesn't steal your bike!

“yay!i heart pokemon!.”

~ random kid that plays children card games on childrens trading card games

Oh gawd, everyone run!

“He is a cruel and terrible facist, but he sure is cute.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pikachu

“In Soviet Russia, Pikachu chooses YOU!!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Pikachu

“You know you've heard too many of Pikachu's albums when you start beating the crap out of ten-year-old teachers”

~ Asuna Kagurazaka on Pikachu as a world-famous musician

“Pika, pikapika chu pikachu pika. PIKACHU!”

~ Ash's Pikachu on  The upcoming rise of Pikachus which will ravage the lands, leaving the world an empty shell of its once abundant beauty

The far less popular Pikajew.

Pikachu (Rodentus Ridiculusaratus) is a Republican United States Senator from California and an electrified yellow rodent who communicates by repeatedly stating its own name(In various tones and volumes).Pikachu evolved from the offspring of Yoda, My little Pony and probablyPichu, aided by the negation of Pikadeth. The pokémon can usually be found in forests,or even can be found hanging out with the pokemon Pee wee Herman,usually masturbating,and catching a pokemon while he masturbates is widely known as being dangerous,so this is to be avoided. Sometimes a Pikachu can be found along with a Dickachu leader, and several tribal guardians. Be sure to feed them with nachos, they'll like it. It is especially prominent in Peru and Canada. Recently, however, it has become a problem for farmers around the world, as it settles in fields and eats the crop. Scientists who seek to crack the code of the Pikachu's inane gibberish, has translated recorded material from one of these Pikachu infested fields roughly into the phrase "Im in ur field, eating ur cropz". A solution to the Pikachu problem can easily be found, using either rat poison, or a rather large rock. Rifles have also been reported to work decently. Pikachu also has a really bad cold, and even sneezes as he speaks.

The fascist extremist Pikachu well known for its rampage of political destruction in the United States briefly was governor of Massachusetts.

A wild Pikachu in it's natural habitat, white rooms.

1 Origins
2 Pet
3 Strengths/Weaknesses
4 Public Works
5 Marketing
6 See Also
7 External Links

[edit] Origins

Before Pikachu became a famous Pokemon, his life was down and out. In order to pay the bills he was forced to take part in a staggering array of porno films. This is a Scene from Pikachu's Hardcore Backdoor Patrol Pt. 5 Special Edition (With Bloopers!)although a good hardcore actor his brother pikachode dominateded the buisnes

ASS

Pikachu after he drank liquid Nitrogen.

Long thought to be Japanese, it has been found by Scientists and Researchers that Pikachu is actually the result of a freak Canadian/Hungarian experiment by the devil. Born Pike-eh Chew to Polkaroo and Reddy Kilowatt in Ontario in 1985, he brought Canada into the Electric age, and was even called the Pikapika no Messiah for a while. In 1995 he became a popular child star in hit games and the TV series "Pokenimals." Later, He starred in the "Pokenimals Movie," which documented a search for Mew, and co-starred Ash as Chew's Fashion Co-ordinator. Later, in 2003, he became one of the hosts for "Queer Entei for the Straight Groovyle." He now serves as Canada's representative for the United Nations and Ash's sex toy during lonely nights without Misty. There is also evidence that the Pikachu that Ash had was a Nazi Pikachu is also proven to have kicked people in not nice places so beware him.

[edit] Pet

It is quite common for Japanese women to keep a pikachu as a pet. Its pointy ears make good use for acts of simultaneous stimulation and its electric abilities are useful incentive for lazy husbands.

Not to be confused with Ling-Ling, a member of the Pikachu family.

Harmless and cute as it may sound, the Pikachu has also proven to be an important cause of death to these women, who often without thinking take the electric creatures into the shower for a bit of fun. Mmm. Fuck buddies in the shower. Pikachu is also a rapist. His victims include Bob Dole, Your Mom, Mary Poppins, Spiderman, and also Dick Cheney.

[edit] Strengths/Weaknesses

Pikachus' strengths include electrifying water types and overwhelming foes with psychotic yellowy cuteness (you WILL succumb to the cuteness). Their weaknesses are ground type pokemon, Rapeachus, and blonde jokes. Also scared shitless of terrier bulls and sith.

Pikachu's main strength is its gay ass annoying way of talking. It can regenerate its health by raping its PIMP ash ketchum from crackwhore town. Pikachu's ultimate weakness is horny babyback rib rapping hoboes.

[edit] Public Works

Pikachus are stanky!

The Pikachu has an oddly zig-zag shaped tail, which has proven to be an inspiration to many people. A couple of millennia B.C.E. the Pikachu was commonly seen as a God, along with the sun, the moon, the stars, and a stick that looked a bit like a candy cane. This eventually led to the international best seller "The Bible" being written, as a collaboration between God and Stephen King. DICK Pikachu was said to be the most famous pet among those pets around the world and other pets might die looking at Pikachu and you all will love Pikachu to death

Pikach also served as Viceroy of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. His administration was filled with scandal as he ended up killing all of the legislator with thunderbolt. Pikachu is also a strong supporter of gay marriage and has been married to all of the Massachusetts House Reps (Barney Frank twice), both senators, and Deval Patrick. Pikachu was forced out of office when it was found out he was an illegal immigrant. (explaining his weak stance of the issue) Pikachu was dragged out of office and sent to jail where he chose to remarry Barney Frank for a third time. Pikachu was also seen shooting potatoes from his ass at the La Tomatina tomato fight in Spain where he had gone for a honeymoon with Barney Frank.

[edit] Marketing

Of course, you've seen the gamut of products bearing Pikachu's visage. Everything from bicycles to condos bears the fuzzy little guy. But what you might not have known, however, is that, for a period in 1998, Pikachus were hunted as part of a promotion for Taco Bell.

The Pikachalupa

The Pikachalupa, as it was known, was a major hit in Romania and Botswana. Unfortunately, it never made it to American markets, as 'Chu meat was banned by the FDA after numerous reported cases of Russian reversal. PIKABOO. The Russians valued them because they tasted like Germans.

The new Pokemon two-headed electric dildo, sold in fine Adult Bookstores everywhere, has recently been recalled for inciting seizures in Japanese porn stars.

[edit] See Also

While fighting in the Vietnam War, Pikachu befriended a very optimistic Magikarp. After returning to ~~Azeroth~~ ~~Middle Earth~~ ~~Hogwarts~~ ~~Johto~~ His mother's basement, Pikachu was given this tile to hang on his wall

[edit] External Links

Pikachu

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