Pikachu Bin Laden
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Pikachu Bin Laden was a notorious terrorist who wreaked havok upon the Pokemon world from 1997 when he became the leader of the terrorist group IJAPMJ until his death in 2006.
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[edit] Origins
Pikachu Bin Laden (1989-2006) was the result of one steamy night in Vegas shared by prominent political activist Osama Bin Laden, and Canadian child star Pikachu. Later that same steamy night Pikachu and Osama were married, and subsequently divorced. Osama then returned home to his palace in Afganastan with a broken heart, and a sore bum. Nine months later a small fuzzy bundle of joy burst forth from his anus causing Osama to die of rectal bleeding. This bundle of joy later became known as Pikachu Bin Laden. After Osama's death Pikachu Bin Laden was exiled to the Pokemon world.
[edit] Early Life
Growing up without any parents was tough on young Pikachu Bin Laden, and in order to fill this void in his life he turned to Radical Poke-Islam. Through his new found faith he gained a great sense of resentment to the so-called pokemon masters who had been expoiting his noble race for hundreds of years.
[edit] Political Career
[edit] The Jihad Years
In the year 1997 he joined a terrorist group known as IJAPMJ (Islamic Jihad Against Pokemon Masters Jihad). His hate of his oppresors, and ability to eat nine saltines in 30 seconds and drink an entire gallon of milk in 10 minutes (yes he really can do it) allowed him to rise through the ranks rather quickly, and in just 10 minutes and 30 seconds he was declared supream leader of the organization. His first act of leadership was to decalare a holy jihad against the pokemon master pigdogs, and their tame meek docile weakling servants that were once Pokemon. He called for all free Pokemon of the world to join his cause. Pikachu Bin Laden has been held responsible for several acts of terrorism against Pokemon masters, and their Pokemon servants.
[edit] The Pewter City Massacre
On June 19, 1999 several hundred geodudes, gravelers, onixes, and golems assaulted a poke center in Pewter City, and killed all of the Pokemon masters and pokemon inside. The terrorists chanted the words "Gotta kill' em all!" while they slaughtered the inocents inside. 78 pokemon masters were killed. It is believed that all 150 pokemon inside were also killed, but some may have defected and joined the terrorists. Pikachu Bin Laden claimed responsibility.
[edit] Bombing of the S.S Anne
On April 8, 2002 the popular pokemon cruise ship the S.S. Anne was asploded by a suicide voltorb. Seconds before the voltorb detonated himself he shouted "VOLTORB" which is translated into "6,000 virgins here I come!" Pikachu Bin Laden again claimed responsibility.
[edit] Destruction of the Silph Co. Tower
On June 6, 2006 a hijacked Zapados crashed into the Silph Co. Tower, and asploded causing the entire building to colapse. It is estimated that 5000 pokemon, and pokemon masters died in the asplosion. Pikachu Bin Laden put a secret code on the back of Jihad-o's cereal that when decoded with the special Pikachu Bin Laden decoder ring read "I take full responsibility for the Silph Co. bombing, Durka, Durka."
[edit] Global Trade Center
Moments after the Silph Co. Tower was asploded, a hijacked Articuno crashed into the Global Trade Center. It killed 493 pokemon and 2000 pokemon trainers instantly. A while later search parties were sent to search for bodies, they only found berries and kabuto fossils.
[edit] On the Lamb
With the bombing of the Silph Co. Tower Pikachu Bin Laden had made a fatal mistake. He had fucked with big business, and therefore he was screwed. Shortly after the Silph Co. incident the president of the elite four, Lance W. Bush, ordered federal poke-troops to attack Pikachu Bin Laden's stronghold near the Dark Cave. Pikachu Bin Laden barley escaped by using Agility, and had to hide in the northwestern mountians. He was constantly pursued by Lance W. Bush's troops
[edit] Death
On December 23, 2006 Pikachu Bin Laden sneezed, and shot a bolt of electricity into the air. Two hours later two US nukes asploded the mountian he was hiding on. The two incidents were completely unrelated, and entirely coicidental. The Bush administration (George W., not Lance W.) sent a formal apology for Pikachu Bin Laden's death to his 45 wives 256 children, and husband Larry.
[edit] See Also
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