Pimp My Sig
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Niggah, they gave me forty-inch rims!”
~ Willy on Wheels on his new pimped-out wheels
“Check it: we linked your user page to goatse, dawg!”
~ Xzibit on Pimp My Sig
Pimp My Sig is a TV Show produced by Uncyclopedia Networks. Each episode, hosted by notorious third-rate rapper Xzibit, consists of taking one Uncyclopedian's totally wack signature, and pimpin' it out. Usually this involves some insane and unnecessary adjustments to what would otherwise be a perfectly acceptable signature.
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[edit] Format
“NIGGAH, YOU GONNA BE ON PIMP MY SIG, SON! WE GOIN' PIMP YOU OUT!!!”
~ Xzibit on Pimp My Sig
The show usually starts off by picking some random user, like <insert name here>, for example, before sending Xzibit and a couple other armed staff members to ransack the Uncyclopedian's home, usually by accessing their private bank account information (yes, we can do that). Then the show's host gets to see the sig, making all kinds of wisecracks and dirty jokes about it before the user gets fed up and calls the cops on some drunk black person masturbating over their computer. From there, the show's talented team of computer technicians will get to work, super-imposing all kinds of code and JavaScript and shit. If you're lucky, they'll even leave your sig somewhat coherent, and maybe throw in some spinners. Spinners are nice, eh?
“Yo, the sig stops loading but the wheels keep spinning!”
~ Three Six Mafia on Spinners
[edit] Responses
People are usually overjoyed to have their sigs pimped out, but some of these ungrateful bastards have only criticism and sarcasm for the hard-working, dedicated Pimp My Sig staff. Seriously, who the fuck cares if your browser crashes every time your signature appears, you got YouTube, Bejewled, GPS on that shit!
"But why the hell do I need GPS on my Uncyclopedia signature?"
"I don't know, niggah, but you got it!" See? See how rude people can be? of course, not everyone is such an ungrateful lump of shit when it comes to having their sigs pimped out. Here are some success stories:
[edit] Satisfied Customers
Yo, for this trick, we straigt hyperlinked that shit to the NASA Mars Rover databanks, dawg! Yay-ah, 24-7 global-positioning satellite navigation, constant data feed from twenty observatories in thirteen different countries, biotch! NRAO, VLA, ALMA, all that shit.
This one was real special, homey; we re-configured that shit to detect radiation from Soviet submarines half-way around the world. It's got a smoothie bar in the back, and when you click for the Talk Page, a hammock pops out, niggah! A hammock pops out!! Y'all know, like, if y'all is in the mood for campin' and shit, chillin with yo hoe and what-not. We put a fish bowl in the grill, bitch!
Oh dawg, dis one's tight. We fixed up da formatting and all so it wouldn't fuck wit the other user's signatures, y'all know. It's got dotted, 1 pixel borders, and it links to the user's page, dawg.
"Well, that sounds like a reasonable addition..."
It's got a twenty-inch plasma monitor in the trunk, bitch! Surround-sound, what-what!!
Check it, check it, we armed dis shit with ADT Home Security, GammaSight, a Geiger Counter -- niggah, we put a guard dog in that sig! Ain't no way someone goin' steal this signature, fo sho.
[edit] Spin-Offs
- Pimp My Username
- Trick My Talk Page
- Huff My Article
- Pimp My Piss
- Jihad My Ride
