Ping

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Don't read this article, just go and read Pong.

After the Connectthedots Leather Company (also known as Hasbro) had smashing success with their tennis simulator Pong, many companies tried to cash in on the success in a series of cheap knock-off games. Nobody was as successful as Hasbro itself, who, in 1985, released the quasi-sequel game, Ping.

Contents

[edit] Gameplay

Really, this isn't important. Nobody plays games because they're fun, you moron. They play them because the people at IGN tell them toooooooo (you can never have enough o's). Plus, people have always loved to throw their money away. Frugality is a lie perpetrated by Scientologists.

[edit] Story

The story revolved around title character Ping, who was constantly overshadowed by his older, more successful brother Pong. Ping trains hard at tennis under unconventional tennis coach Bea Arthur, who convinced him to use the double-racket to better his chances of actually hitting the ball. Ping eventually works his way up the ATP rankings, beating his older brother in the Greater Winnetonka Open finals match. The game ends with a 45-minute cut scene of Ping taking his endorsement checks to the bank, during which he is fatally wounded in a Mini Cooper hit-and-run.

[edit] Graphics

Dude, you can't conceive how good these were. We're talking more polygons than the Bible's got Psalms. This game, in terms of pure polycount, was the best game, evar. The guys at MIT had to invent a new number just to describe it, a cowillion. Modern video game enthusiasts, 3400 years later, are still blown away by the realism in this game, which has yet to be bested by the Xbox 360.

[edit] See also

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