Plan 8 from Outer Space

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Plan 8 from Outer Space was another disastrous attempt by the Planners from Outer Space to thin out Galactic Bureaucracy in it's competition against Microsoft. It was also the only plan that involved Aquaman as one of the Planners from Outer Space.

[edit] The Plan

Using the then-new Infinite Improbability Drive, the Planners were to kidnap humans, clone them, send back the humans with Amnesia and use the clones as a battalion to launch an attack on the Microsoft offices on Vogsphere. The reason for using humans was because human beings looked very much like the Planners themselves, but were much less intelligent. Ipso Ergo, a clone is captured, but can't understand a single thing that's being said unless it's in song.

[edit] What Went Wrong

Unfortunately, the Planners underestimated the Clones, who still talked under torture and explained the entire Plan to the Microsoft executives, who were in the midst of choosing the methods of torture to use:

  • The Thumbscrews
  • The Rack
  • The Iron Maiden
  • A Bob Hope Special
  • Burning hot spikes up the Ass
  • All of the above together

Being a weak and cowardly species, the Clones all confessed before being shot, hung, poisoned, stabbed, stretched, disembowelled, drawn, quartered, burnt to ashes and buried for six weeks to be recycled as firelighters. This is because Microsoft are a humane organisation who disallow any form of Sadism in the workplace.

[edit] After That?

The Planners from Outer Space knew that Cloning wouldn't work on any other species in the Universe as the outcome would be the same, plus that Cloning took several years and a hell of a lot of patience. While Plan 9 from Outer Space was on the Drawing Board, Aquaman left the Planners as Plan 8 had done little for his career or his image (that is, assuming he had an image).

Unfortunately, Plan 9 went far worse than Plan 8. Whereas Plan 9 had been an attempt to improve on the mistakes of Plan 8, Plan 9 had done worse than it's predecessor, and so Plan B from Outer Space was concocted to try and solve the problems of Plan 9. With everyone going around in circles, there were no attempts to improve on Plan 8.

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