Plano, Texas

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“HA, ha! Your school district is among the highest rated in the country!”

~ Nelson Muntz on Plano

“Plano gave me cancer.”

~ Lance Armstrong on Plano

“I drank your mocha latte!”

~ Daniel Day-Lewis on Plano

“IM BORED!!”

~ Ollie Williams on Plano

Snake on a Plano.

Plano, Texas is a neighborhood in Dallas where even the black people are rich snobs who drive Hummers. It is located just north of Dallas and south of Two Cows, Oklahoma. It has a population of 4,360,000, many of which Ted Turner is planning to kill for his own amusement.

Plano boasts state-of-the-art park and recreation facilities, a booming economy, an excellent water system, and just about everything else, really. They boast about everything. They even have a magazine where they show how awesome they are and how much the women in Allen and Frisco need to shave (they do, really).

1 History
2 Geography
3 People and Culture
4 Witchcraft
5 Notable Residents
6 Sister Cities
7 Economy
8 External Links

[edit] History

Plano was founded in 1891 by James Naismith, whose wife had just found out he had been cheating on her and needed a place where he would seem normal. Using a piece of tissue paper and a comb, he flew to a remote area of Texas, where he noticed a bunch of Indians playing a strange game with a ball and a basket. Before the tribe could make it to the nearest patent office, he promptly had sex with each member, and they all died of happiness. Thus began Plano's noble history...

In 1951, Plano was incorporated as a city. It was intended to be named for the Spanish word for kitten huffing, "llano", but the settlers' lack of experience with Spanish (and their unwillingness to ask the Mexicans, which would make them look stupid in comparison and cause the entire town to enter into a rousing chant of "You're stupider than a Mexican! Na na na na NA na!") left them with the current name, which means "much kitten huffing".

Beginning in the 1980s, people from China, India, and even such faraway, mystical lands as Houston flocked to Plano. This was due to an advertising campaign that included subliminal messages; viewers of the ads were brainwashed into moving to Plano, voting for Ronald Reagan, and tolerating Full House. It also encouraged teens to do drugs, resulting in some high school kids dying from cocaine or something, but nobody cares.

On June 11,2006.Plano was the site of the worst heatwave in the history of the U.S. Lisa Valdez said of the incident, "This is not what I ordered! I said a HeatWave pizza with Canadian bacon, sausage, and black olives, not these ugly green ones! I want my money back!" Sam Stokes, assistant manager of the local Dominos Pizza and all-around loser, replied, "Go eat at Pizza Patron, you freakin' whore." Ms. Valdez spread her legs and took a shit on all the pizza and kitchen equipment.

"Oh, the humanity," decribed one of the customers.

[edit] Geography

The geography of Plano is notable. Despite this, we refuse to note anything about it. Plano was really made in 1503 by a group of dwarf hunters after being at war with the native gaints that lived there they became friends and matted so average hight people were born and thus stated the human race

[edit] People and Culture

The mayor of Plano, with a man that's probably not her husband (yes, they have a woman mayor. How embarrassing.)

Plano is mostly white, with a few off-whites and some colors thrown in for variety.

The average SPC (Starbucks per street corner) of Plano is 3.57, up .31 from last year, and the average SPC is 3.16.

Despite Plano's nationally acclaimed public school system, most students become construction workers or slaves in the Middle East. Most of the time they are derived monkeys that fling poo towards Dallas's school system, most of the time it will hit Dallas in the face and they will respond by eating it. Frisco is ran by porcelin filled anti-christ's.

Everyone in Plano has access to the Internet. This has started what is becoming known as the Ultimate Crusade Against Punctuation capitalization, Speleng, and Vwls. FTW.

Plano is known as the Gymnastics Capital of the World. Russian gymnast trainees lives there, also Mary Lou Retton, Carly Patterson, Kerri Strug, Nastia Liukin, Svetlana Khorkina, Bela Karolyi etc. has homes there and they were trained in Plano for every Olympic games. This city is target for pedophiles, millions have arrested here! Most kids grow up only 4' 8" to 5' 2".