Playstation 2

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“PS DOUBLE.”

~ Chadwarden on PS2

Playstation 2 (Japanese: ゲイステーション2) represents the first stage of the fallof a total overcooked hotdog to the forefront of the gaming console industry. It has reappeared a few years ago in its slimmer form, most likely because it went on a diet.

[edit] The Birth of the PS2

The first Playstation 2 was hatched from an egg conceived by Mecha Playzilla (following its rape of a DVD-player production line), and was raised in the ways of evil and brain-consumption by Ken Kutaragi. The result was that the Playstation 2 became a very resentful and malicious console, only barely pacified by allowing it to stand upright, rather than horizontal with things piled on top of it.

[edit] The on button

The on button is probably the most complex feature in the PlayStation 2, best approached with a sharp knife, if at all.

It can do two things:

• TURN IT ON
• TURN IT OFF

[edit] How to start a game on the PS2

• Insert the disc.
• Observe "disc read error" on your screen.
• throw out your console and buy another one to feed Ken Kutaragi's drug habit.
• repeat.

Playstation 2 consoles, according to media hype at time of launch:

Will produce graphics indistinguishable from movies. DVD media causes low loading times and fast read speeds.

Has so much processing power, you'll never have slowdown or frame-skip unless the CPU is not routinly changed due to the wear of so many bits running thought the pipes.

Sony reliability, inexpensive for the value.

Doubles as a missile defence guidance system when not in use for gaming. Will not defend you against rifle-fired bullets. Instead, use the bulletproof X-BOX for that.

With the arrival of Microsoft into the videogame industry after their ill-planned attempt to purchase Nintendo, a full-scale war began to develop between major developers.

The ensuing struggle sees the release of the masterpieces Halo and Halo 2, but also finalises the shift in the video-game triumvirate from Nintendo, Sega, and Sony, to Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft. Sega are still crying about this, but they sacrificed themselves to stop the rampage of Mecha Playzilla, which is some consolation.

Ultimately, the conflict between these three gaming companies is really a metaphor for human existence. Director Ang Lee has said that he did not so much wish to make a video-game movie, but rather Sense and Sensibility that had video games in it. He probably failed in this regard, but the way that Sony copes with its struggles is an inspiration to all of us. And really, is not Nintendo the true hero (after Sega, who sacrificed themselves for our sins)? When giant multi-nationals attempt to push in on Nintendo's market, he fights back for the hearts and hive mind of a bunch of anti-social dorks that only kids from the nasty part of the inner city could really understand. But aren't we all really just a bunch of kids from the nasty part of the inner city?

[edit] Hidden Meanings

If you reverse the first 2 letters of the words Sony Playstation you get Pony Slaystation. Obviously an evil ploy by the sony corporation to force us to slay ponies, possibly by utilising the enormity and immense weight of their new playstation 3 to crush the skulls of said ponies. Sources believe that the facination with the unruly slaughter of innocent creatures stated with an owie in pre-school. People are urged not to buy the horrible slaying stations and for safe keeping the RSPCA has recalled hundreds of these devices for hundreds of tests, probably testing on Human Nature.

[edit] The Great Playstation Massascre 1885

On 1885 the sony head chief (Bill clintons alter ego, "The clitanot0r") Angered the red power ranger, Promptly the great ps2 massacre began.It lasted exactly 5 seconds and 5000000 of the clitanat0rs "Gaystations" Were killed in this short war after the red power ranger brought out his bagute of death.

[edit] See also

• UnNews:Greenpeace calls for greener consoles
• Playstation 3
• PlayStation 360
• Crack
• Loading...