Plunge
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[edit] What is plunging?
From the verb "to plunge", plunging is the action of forcibly forcing an object downwards.
[edit] Self Plunging
It takes great bravery to do this. Some people are able to plunge head first into the sea, or another large body of water. Others (eg, toddlers or cats in the process of toilet training) might accidentally self plunge. When this happens, it is important not to laugh. A well miffed cat or toddler will not see the funny side, and may just kill you. The cat in the picture has just self plunged.
[edit] Duck Plunging
Ducks are the victims of a craze that has swept the nation as a woman should sweep the floor. It all started back in 2001 when Mrs Fatbitch got drunk, and vaulted the railings to her local duck pond. (Have you a duck pond in your locality?) She drowned the nearest duck and held it under for a good hour and a half. Local armed forces arrived on the scene and shot up Mrs Fatbitch, but alas, the duck was dead. An inquiry was set up to investigate the death of Mrs Fatbitch, but the authorities waved it aside, claiming that the death of the duck was far more serious. Soon, everyone was drowning ducks, and the armed forces couldn't keep up. The duck below has been plunged.
[edit] Toilet Plunging
Different from self plunging as mentioned above in that this is when you stick a plunger thing down the loo to clear out shit. Only certified toilet plungers should do this as the risks of failure are too high. However, if you are one of those morons/George Bush who just has to try everything, here's how to do it:
1. Show no mercy. (Shock, Awe and Plunge) Even the slightest bit of shit can lead to a disaster. In 1994, the state of Arkansas was in a state of emergency because an engineer by the name of Teddy blocked the toilet and flooded the state in sewage. It led to starvation, mass exodus (whatever the fuck that means) and a sad atmosphere in the place.
2. Plunge that shit. Stick the plunger in and go for it! If the shit senses weakness in the plunger, it will take advantage of this. See the picture.
3. Wash your hands. Shite causes all sorts of diseases, such as cholera, the menopause and masturbation. No, really.
[edit] A brief history of plunging
Back in the olden days, plunging was considered a taboo. The Ancient Egyptians reserved it for funerals and other important occasions / impotent equations (WTF?!?!?). Brain plunging is a nasty business, and it was reserved for the burials of nasty businessmen only.
Today, thanks to modern oral contraceptives, plunging is now common practice in most suburban villages. Knife plunging is still wrong, however.
