Pneumatic Goat Launcher

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“What a truly horrible mistake to quote me here.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pneumatic Goat Launcher

“The PGL or Pneumatic Goat Launcher is the most advanded weapon in the British military to date.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pneumatic Goat Launcher

The Pneumatic Goat Launcher (or PGL, closely related to the PGA, and licensed under the GPL) was invented in 1950 by two very bored people with an axe to grind. Stemming from a discussion about the origin of the phrase "to blow goats," it was quickly discovered to be a source of unparalleled humor.

1 Key Features
2 Military Research and Development
3 Global Warming Applications
4 See Also

[edit] Key Features

Being able to mention a "PGL" in a sentence.
Goats
The SOUND: "THWOOOOMP. ... ... ... BAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
You will be at the center of attention at every party with your own PGL!

[edit] Military Research and Development

Because the PGL is primarily a weapon, it is currently being researched for a variety of military porpoises, including...

Pneumatic Barricade Destroyer ala Goats
PGL Hovercraft
Hand PGLs for fast infantry
Orbital Goat Bombardment, motto: "Goat them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure!"

An artists impression of the PGL

[edit] Global Warming Applications

It is suspected that Pneumatic Goat Launchers in association with Al Gore have a great potential to solve the global warming problem. The argument is thus:

Global Warming is caused by the atmosphere retaining too much energy over a long period of time.
By reducing the total amount of mass available to absorb energy, we slow this warming trend.
A system of enormous Pneumatic Goat Launchers should be developed to launch goats into the upper atmosphere, where they will freeze (see Pneumatic Frozen Goat Launcher) and return to Earth with their goaty coolness, thus cooling the atmosphere.
Additionally sufficiently powerful PGLs may be able to launch goats into orbit in sufficient quantities to obscure the hot sunlight and shield us from the sun's deadly rays. This would also make a wonderful substitute for the Ozone Layer.