Pod People

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A pod person pointing at you.
A pod person pointing at you.

The Pod People are illegal aliens who want to replace the world population with their own kind. They came from Mars because life in Mars sucked. So, the people decided to invade immigrate to Earth and start duplicating themselves to look exactly like the human counterparts. They come out from green pods and quietly replace you while you sleep (or doing some sort of errand). Normally, pod people are quite hard to tell between who is who because they all look exactly like us. Maybe you, <insert name here>, are a pod person.

[edit] The History behind the Pod People

The pod people came to Earth for many reasons. First, their planet sucks, everything in Mars is a total red wasteland. And besides, pods need soil, sunlight, and water to grow. In Mars, they only have good sunlight and water, but their soil is dried up. So, they came to a conclusion that they should go "immigrate" to Earth because the planet we live in now have rich soil that worth millions. So, the pod people settle into Earth, grow pods, duplicate themselves to look like us, and kidnap the original person to give him/her a really scary experience (as well as trapping the person in some white fiber). Currently, the pod people are thriving in Africa, China, Cambodia, Mexico, and most of South America. The next victim of the pod people, U.S.A., where giant corporations are hiring them as cheap labor and completely replacing the original person (which is us). What these capitalists didn't realize is that the pod people would eventually take over them and later our politicians. The Republican party is planning to take action against these foreign invaders.

[edit] Characteristics

A picture a pod couple flying, something that nobody can do in reality.
A picture a pod couple flying, something that nobody can do in reality.

Pod people look like us. However, there are several traits that are different from us.

One trait the pod person obviously possess is apathy. The pod people don't care about anything. They don't care about you, your mom, Oscar Wilde, and Iraq War. Heck, they don't care about anything. So, if anyone come across a village full of pod people (which they are mostly found in Africa and Southeast Asia), do not show any sympathy. When I mean sympathy, I mean saying if one come across a cute kitten and say "Awwww....how cute!" or anything that shows care, that guy might going to have a couple of bad nights and a dead man or woman. Pod people cannot be trusted in anyway, so you can't tell if they are lying or not.

Another trait a pod person possess are activities that no one can do in real life. There have reports in Washington D.C. of pod people flying around the White House. Pod people also spend most of their time in water or soil filled with fertilizer and composts (and even sleep there too). Pod people enjoy hedonistic activities that is deem "cruel and unusual" to most people on Earth, such as straitjackets and rape. Also, pod people prefer drinking water rather than beer, Coca-Cola, Gatorade, and piss. The reason behind this is because these liquids can actually kill them if they drink them.

Pod people have the most unusual biological characteristics. Pod people drink two times more water than an average human being (while we drink about 6 to 8 glasses of water, pod people drink 13-20 glasses of water). They don't really need to have the water go through the mouth, they can simply have water splashed into them. Pod people also don't have teeth (see the first picture above), therefore they are always hungry. Pod people also sleep throughout the entire winter because being awake in a cold area can really screw them over (unless if they live in Africa and Southeast Asia). Pod people cannot live without water. Otherwise, they simply turn to shit. Pod people have two weaknesses, salt and fire. If you set a pod person on fire, the pod person burn to smithereens and a mirror would drop to reveal where the real person is located. Salt also have similar effects as well (which is done by either spiking their water with salt or spraying salt on the soil before pods are fully matured). The pod people definitely need sunlight, so blocking the sunlight can give them a slow painful death.

[edit] Known pod people

There are not many KNOWN pod people, except for the famous Roy Mustang, who is obviously a higher being, along with Chuck Norris. That is because pod people look like us and act like us. They only way you can tell the difference is their apathy, but you really can't rely on that because even normal people can be apathetic. So good luck trying to distinguish between pods and normal people, because it's quite difficult to do.

On other hand, those unusual super abilities they possess, they actually don't use them alot, making it even more difficult to tell from human and pod.

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