Podiatrist
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Podiatrists are the militant arm of the despised Freemasons. Officially outlawed by several international treaties, they nonetheless continue their sinister work; unsubstantiated reports have traced some of their funding to several front organizations known to be affiliated with Oprah. Most Podiatrists are ardent believers in Zoroastrian philosophy.
[edit] History of the Podiatrists
The Podiatrists were established in 1230 by Barney the Purple Dinosaur (well known now for his work in children's educational television, after a sudden conversion to the Church of Mormon sometime around 1990 [as records from that time unreliable due to the widespread addiction on the part of librarians of that era to kitten huffing , exact dates cannot be provided]), who was known in the then-ragtag band as a leader of wanton cruelty. Eventually, a mutinous shakedown resulted in Barney's fall from militant grace and subsequent plunge into librarianism, and the Podiatrists took on a new leader in 1300. From then on, much like Mexico's post-Revolution period, the Podiatrists were on a rollercoaster ride of tyrranical leader after tyrranical leader, until George Washington 's assumption of power over the Freemasons in the year 1769 (known fondly by many as "Ye Olde Summere of Love." ). It was at this point that the Freemasons were able to gel as a world power under the leadership of Washington. Among Washington's many reforms were the arming of the Podiatrists with rotary power tools; since that time the organisation has been an underground phenomenon, and a scourge to many.
[edit] Modern Implications of the Podiatrists.
The Podiatrists today, many theorise, are funded by Oprah. Though this is simple conjecture, it is generally accepted as truth, much to the objection of Jonathan Franzen, The Highest Of the Biggest Of Cheeses of the Podiatrists, and author of The Corrections. The marks of Podiatrists are grouped holes of various sizes drilled into walls. They have been recently observed wandering the subway systems of Canada's largest cities, staging shakedowns in stations after hours.
