Pokémon (Show)
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BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The Censor Machine waz here!
[edit] No, What About the Characters?
“A talking Charmander wants my credit card? Seems fair.”
~ Ash on the internets
[edit] Ash
Ash is the protagonist of this trash, a pre-teen hobo with a bad spray-on tan that travels across the land, searching far and wide! Each pokemon, to understand: the power that's inside! POKEMON! Oh beep, sorry, I burst into song there. Upon leaving on a journey, Ash really showed everyone his determination by setting out in his pajamas. He never changes throughout the series except when his voice actor tries to make it sound as if he's hit puberty. It doesn't go well. Ash dislikes returning home, as his mom has a pet MR.(seriously, Mr?) Mime that enjoys beating Ash to death with a frying pan.
Ash received an iPod like device called a Pokedex that tells him how to win the easiest of battles and to identify the same Pokemon 101 times in one episode. Ash received a new Pokedex in Season 5 after his old one exploded when he tried to download Dragonforce songs on it through Limewire. Shortly afterwards, he was fined three trillion dollars. Ash can't make his own decisions, you know. The show's producers send him commands through the iPod. Ash still has free will, such as the battles, where he makes bad calls while his Pokemon do all of the work. Ash is generally well liked by his viewers. He is the only cast member not to wear short shorts in more than a few episodes. Ash's father was never revealed in the show, however there is the eccentric old guy who build his laboratory suspiciously close to his mom's house. Unfortunately, Ash can never become a Pokémon master, because he always gives away all his Pokémon and says "Maybe we'll see each other again some day" even though they never will ever again, apparently Pokémon Storage Boxes only exsist in the games...too bad for him. He only cares about his lover Pikachu.
[edit] Brock
Another main character, Brock is the only straight actor on the show. He first made his debut on the show after getting his beep licked kicked by Ash and then begging him to let him tag along, giving him a chance to escape his compulsive mother. He tries often to pick up a date, failing miserably, over and over. And over. And over again. He rarely does anything in the show, except cook, heal Pokemon, and provide comic relief from the 'tense' Pokemon battles in his complete failure at life. Brock is simply on the show. He dreams of becoming the greatest Pokemon Breeder. The problem is that he's only "bred" with himself in his life.
[edit] Misty
The most popular actress of the entire show, Misty is flat-chested and easy to anger. She is addicted to bikes somehow. In fact, close to 85% of her annual salary is spent on bikes. People often hoped that she would hook up with Ash. At that time, Ash had yet to come out of the closet, though he did enjoy the company of a flat-chested girl. Misty is also the leader of the Cerulean City Gym, though she can't even teach a mentally challenged duck how to swim. She had wild hot beep with Brock, Ash, and all their pokemon in a huge orgy. Though Brock was killed when his Onix went too far up Brock's beep and impaled his heart.
[edit] Gary
Ash's rival, and Professor Oak's grandson. Also a complete jerkwad, yet so so so hawt. He claims to have 169,000 Pokémon, but they're all Magikarps. In spite of their rivalry, Ash sometimes helps Gary out, like near the beginning of Season 6 when Gary was accused of being a communist. In Season 8, he was the lead singer for a disco band named Gary's Gang, which only had two hits: "Keep On Dancin'" & "Do It At The Disco". After the band broke up, he became an alcoholic and nearly got killed when he slugged a communist military officer. Upon being defeated by Ash, Gary disappeared, claiming to have gone off on some soul-searching. Ash later found Gary locking himself inside Proffessor Oak's house, where he had played Everquest the last 72 hours straight.
[edit] Pikachu
Sometime in 1997, however, Pikachu had his pants sued off because he had landed millions of children in the hospital for giving them seizures, although Pikachu blamed his good buddy Porgyon, who saved his the trio, and even Team Rocket's beep in that beep episode.
Recently, Pikachu was caught in a scandal. He was caught at a club with Misty. Since he was currently dating Ash, this was all over the news in Japan...and wherever the beep Pokemon live. This was a real emotional blow to Ash, but Pikachu seemed indifferent to his lover's trauma. Their relationship was resolved, however, when Misty ran off with some other Japanese guy. Ash and Pikachu are currently dating, but this may be subject to change.
[edit] May and Max
May and Max are Misty's replacements. They toured for five seasons. Max was one of the most hated people of all time in the show, but May had a lot of fans following in the early years of her career. Family life was hard for them, growing up in a household with a fat sloth Pokemon.
Max was a know-it-all. He just waddled around bragging how smart he was while the action went on. He was only on the show because May is related to him. He had a Ralts, but it ran away because it couldn't stand his tourettes any longer. Max has also been involved in several Pokeball "incidents" resulting of the death of several trainers. Max stands at two feet tall because his mother smoked in the womb, stunting poor Max's growth.
May was brought in when Misty was found to have committed suicide in the bathroom stall of a local Olive Garden. She was also gullible, being easily tricked by Ash into unwanted chores, such as cleaning, or blowing up Team Rocket. Despite being a clutz, she won many battles, and became a Pokemon Beauty Contest Winner over and over. May has been sued multiple times by her Skitty for being fed her signature Pokeblocks, which are often made from berries found at the peak of ripeness at the bottom of trash bins. Her Pokemon were unleveled, ugly, and couldn't fight, but she generally still wins due to the fact her opponents are all arrogant (and, in Harley's case, beep) and think they kick beep when in reality they're dweebs and jerkoffs. It is speculated that May's hair grows way longer on the sides due to her massive consumption of slim fast.
[edit] Dawn
Dawn (known in Japan as Hikari) is the current female antagonist. Since she's new to Pokemon, she still makes some rookie mistakes. She still has extremely short skirts, and is seems a lot older (like, at least seven years older) than the part she plays. Not much is known about her role in the show, except that she is beep and has a lot to learn, and Ash seems to be teaching her everything he knows about Pokemon...which is the only thing he knows about. She also has the inability the frown or say something slightly negative. But poor Buneary is never noticed for her love for Pikachu,could this also be love for Ash and deedee? How cute, many people recently have voted that that friggin skirt of hers will stop breaking the laws of physics just for Ash, Brock may just have to get the beeps in heaven closet miserably, knowing he'll be virgin no matter what.
She also wants to suck Ash's shillangle but regrettfully for him she is to young
[edit] The Über Pokéemo Sociopath
The Über Pokéemo Sociopath is a weird random guy who tortures and beep May and Cream the Rabbit, he is dressed like an emo, but acts like a warhawk and acts like some perfectionist I can't remember his name right now, is by far the only really beep (sometimes put in question, since he hasn't no interest in Dawn) and is the only person in the whole show who can beat Ash anytime, anywhere. He also has a habit of releasing the Pokemon he catches just because they're not beep enough. He also likes to tell the truth about Ash's patheticness. He can make The Flood cry. He can also melt something with one glance, turn it into vapor and make it disappear.
[edit] Professor Oak
Professor Oak is the leading researcher on Pokemon. Bottom line, he has no life. He is also unstable and senile. Ash's mom shows that she's losing her mind as well, because she's always with him. I think they're in love. He is the director of the show. He has few roles in the show. He's displayed behavior that indicates he is a pedophile, like stalking Blue and sending his evil bird Pokemons out to torture her, whilst wrapped in black bandages that are so scary, you'll wet yourself. Then he gives her a PokeDex to lure her into trusting him so she'll let him touch her. Oh, wait, that's just in the manga. This is the anime article. Darn.
[edit] Nurse Joy
Nurse Joy is a clone made for Oprah to heal her armies. Oprah was so evil that she used to beep little Pokemon.
[edit] Officer Jenny
The police officers of the show, these are also failed clones on the Oprah line. Her blue hair is from the 80's when it was thought to be popular.
[edit] Team Rocket
Popular, but evil, an unfortunate group of a man (JesseJames), woman (JamesJesse), and the brains of the bunch; a talking kitten with obsessive compulsive disorder (Meowth). James had a wealthy childhood, but left his family's marijuana plantation for bigger and better horizons. However, this isn't working out for him and he is frequently seen driving recklessly in the streets of Pallet Town around 3 AM. Jesse is a fake redhead that's had one too many trips to the local plastic surgeon. She is also possibly the former dictator of Kenya. Meowth found out he could talk like a human after the Italian mafia nailed a coin into his forehead. Every show, they have made an appearance. And every show, they fail miserably to tame a Pokemon, much less capture one, take Pikachu for example. They always claim to be bankrupt and yet come up with a new copyright infringed giant robot every time. Yet they rival Max for boasting and idiocy, in their inability to catch a little yellow rodent. They provide Comic Relief when Brock can't deliver.
In shorter terms, Team Rocket beeps, they can never capture Pikachu ever, so they should just stop trying.
Okay, beep. You beep had enough?!
[edit] But, What Are the Seasons About?
  Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter defeat the archangel together so that Lyra and Will can save the world, Fat Albert goes to Bill Cosby to help him get back to the TV show, Bill and Ted pass their history class, Mordred is King Arthur's son, Lex Luthor gets stranded on a deserted island (again), Piggy and Simon both die, but Ralph and Jack are rescued, Captain America bequethed his shield to Stephen Colbert, Brandy Alexander is Shannon's brother, Aeneas leaves Dido so she kills herself, Lefty never arrives because he's dead, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
I'm gonna beep kill you!
[edit] SERIES 1
Season 1- The party has fun in Kanto. The theme song has messages from Osama bin Laden if played backwards. Also, in Kanto, they meet Bush and bribe him to beep them.
Season 2- The party goes to some islands, where nothing happens. Brock is replaced with some douche who likes sketching Ash's beep and poking a hole where his beep hole should be and sticking waving tongue in it. And also ash get,s a laptop and looks at pictures of naked men on the internet. Brock finds out and says that he wants do that.
Season 3- The party wanders off into Johto, and walks around. The douche is replaced by Brock again. this time he is smocking a crack pipe.
Season 4- The party somehow has 85 episodes in the Johto league championships (which was weird, considering only 64 people were in the championships and only 64 episodes were biographical)
Season 5- The party enters a Master Quest while ash is partying in the middle of hawaii.
[edit] SERIES 2
[edit] Season 6
The party is advanced. Seasons 6-9 are known as the Advanced Generation because Ash wears advanced clothes. This series made no sense, and was simply there because the story writers tried to introduce too many new concepts that might've beep anyhow. May enters the series and the nude pictures of her start surfacing on the Net.
[the uncensored Japanese version.]
[edit] Season 7
The party has an advanced challenge.
[edit] Season 8
The party has an advanced battle. beep? Isn't battle almost the same thing as challenge??
![The day everybody died[1].](/wiki/Image:Pikachu_seizure-2.jpg)
[edit] Season 9
The party enters the Battle Frontier while ash get replaced by some beep guy for the whole season. (Wait Ash isn't beep????)
SERIES 3
[edit] Season 10
The party is in the Diamond & Pearl League with Dawn, while the rest of us still are in awe that, despite numerous scandals, lay-offs, and court appearances, the show continues. This marks the debut of Captain Underpants.
Don't beep believe me? Here: Let the so-called experts at Wikipedia convince you otherwise! [2]
Now leave me the beep alone!
[edit] No! What about the movies?
|
Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Rosebud is a sled, Will stabs Davy Jones's heart, and takes over as captain of the Flying Dutchman, Norman Bates is really the murderer, Leonard has already found and killed his wife's killer, "To Serve Man" is a cookbook, Harold and Kumar are going to Amsterdam, Kreia was a Sith Lord and only Atton and the Disciple saw that coming, Janeway defeats the Borg, the Lizzie monster eats Tim O'Hara after the credits, frankly, my dear, Clark Gable doesn't give a damn, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
beep you!
[edit] Pokémon: The First Movie
Party fights Mewtwo, who wants to take over the world for some reason. He kicks their beep, then the party kicks his beep, then Mewtwo flies away. Mew is there looking all cute. OMG! SPOILERS! YOU DESTROY MY BRAINZ!
[edit] Pokémon: The Movie 2000
A beep guy in a flying thing laughs for an hour, then Ash beats him in a battle. After that Ash's pokedex is replaced with a new one because the beep broke it.
[edit] Pokémon 3: The Movie
Some Unknown drink Red Bull and fly around, and then the rest of the movie portrays landscapes similar to that you would see when you are in a euphoric state induced by alcohol and/or drugs containing pretty colors.
Entei pays Ash's mom to strip for it, beep beep.
[edit] Pokémon 4Ever
Celebi gets hit by a bug-type attack and dies because it beep. Ash also gives into the temptation of beep off an overpass.
[edit] Pokémon Heroes
Documentary where party spots a Latios and Latias flying around. This movie was also a fine example of how a couple on non-union workers could doom all of mankind. It is also very annoying with the Latios and Latias crying. Ick.
[edit] Pokémon: Jirachi Wishmaker
A beep magician gives Max a mysterious egg. It hatches into Jirachi, the plot device wish granting Pokemon. The magician steals Jirachi and uses it to create a giant beep Groudon. However, he is shocked to discover that the Groudon Jirachi creates is actually straight! Fortunately, May uses her bad singing to defeat it before it can destroy the world.
[edit] Pokémon: Destiny Deoxys
Deoxys? What the beep is that? Some kind of burrito? Anyway this alien Pokemon that looks like a cross between your mom's DNA and George Bush's sperm cells goes to a city looking for his beep friend which turns out to be the green nutsack that a boy named Tory keeps on staring at. Ash and his beep partners transform the green balls into the alien thingie I said earlier while Rayquaza the big green flying beep of a dragon tries to kill the other alien by shooting lots of hyper beam attacks out of it's beep. Near the end of the movie the dragon, aliens, and everyone got buried and beep by billions of block robots. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that the alien thingie kept on making clones of it's parts to beep everyone out of the city but unfortunately they didn't get Ash and his beep.
[edit] Pokémon: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew
Ash solves a mystery with Mew to find Lucario! This ripped off big time. Movie is Mew's attempt to remind everyone of the days when there was one secret legendary pokemon rather than 84. Easily the most furry Pokemon movie ever. After this movie the show is cancled for a month then the show is put back on tv. Then nobody ever watched pokemon because everyone thought it was beep stupid
[edit] Pokémon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea
An emotional film. May gets extremely overwhelmed with emotions, and goes insane. It was consirded one of the most emotional movies of the year, it was jam packed with so much heartwarming (and heartmelting) goodness. The directors executed the cuts and the music perfectly!!! Many people are known to cry thought the movie, my mother happened to be one of them. It was just so emotional. Knowing this might be her last movie, May confessed in the deluxe DVD that she was sorry for all she'd done to hurt the crew. Indiana Jones and Shortround also makes an appearance, which makes this an emotional-action packed film. Then Manaphy gives birth to Melvin Sneedly.
[edit] Dialga VS Palkia VS Darkrai
It is still unreleased, but it might be about a battle and Dawn showing her beep, the main reason of why the movie was in the top of the movies by a week, but then some people loaded it to youtube, and then the movie was only seen by its size. Bjorn is doing the theme song.
