Polesitting
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Friends, citizens and Governators. It hurts...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Polesitting
“I dont like you either”
~ Poles on Oscar Wilde
[edit] Polesitting
Polesitting is an ancient sport, deveployed by lost fishermen off the Jutlandic coast in 4th century. The word Polesitting is originally derived from the danish word "Pælesidning", which means pain.
In the beginning, the fishermen sat on pointy rocks, wearing nothing but a beard. But later on, the Polesitters Against Invading Norweigans (also known as PAIN), decided to put out 851 poles and 1 Pokémon in the water. Thus giving birth to the modern polesitting. PAIN's other purpose is to make sure, that no norweigans would ever invade Denmark.
In the year of our polesitter 1336, polesitting was outsourced to the Netherlands, which on the instant loved it. Before anyone knew it, polesitting was made into a sport. In 1476 AD, the Netherlands held the first polesitting world cup. The contestants came from many fine and exotic nations such as: Denmark, the Netherlands, Nigeria and Scotland. Sadly everyone drowned, after a sudden flood had surprised the stupid dutch people, who had only built the poles 8 ft. high. No polesitting tournament would be hold for the next 300 years.
In 1801 AD the Brits invaded Copenhagen. Several english and danish ships were sunk, on the poles, PAIN put out several years ago. 21 English sailors, 36 danish sailors and one drunk swede, was stuck on those poles for a week. Ultimately, the danes won due to superior experience.
In 1846 AD, the dutch tried hold another world cup. This time they had built the poles 30 ft. high. They took people from entire Europe. After 43 days, only the norweigan remained. It were all broadcasted under the name "Survivor" by BBC.
During the tournament, Oscar "Dumbass" Wilde tried to break the world record for longest time on a pole. He shattered the record, by gluing himself to the pole and falling asleep. After 186 days, his head fell off and the doctors declared him dead. The dutch still awarded him the world record.
In the recent years, Uber-German electronica band , Kraftwerk, have been winning all polesitting tournaments held. The main reason is because they're all robots. Oscar Wilde's record on 186 days still stand.
Last year, a movie was made about polesitting. White man goes beserk with Fiddy cent in the cast, burned through the box-office, making incredible 784$ on the first week.
