Etiquette

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

(Redirected from Politeness)
Jump to: navigation, search

Etiquette, also known as decorum, is the code that governs the expectations of social behavior, the conventional norm. It is an unwritten code, but it may evolve from or into a written code. Generally, rules of etiquette vary from culture to culture.

Contents

[edit] Etiquette for the Solicitor

Following is a small excerpt of the most important rules of etiquette for a traveling salesman encountering foreign cultures.

[edit] American Etiquette

  • Greet friends and acquaintances with warmth and respect
  • Refrain from insults and prying curiosity
  • Offer hospitality equally and oppositely to your guests
  • Wear clothing suited to the occasion
  • Avoid disturbing others with loud music or unnecessary noise. However, this rule does not apply when in ones car, on any form of public transport or in ones own home
  • Arrive promptly when expected
  • Generally be nice to other people
  • Adjust balls with the left hand while appearing to be wiping your hands on your napkin
  • When aiming a gun at a rival gang member, place both hands on the weapon

[edit] Japanese Etiquette

  • Commit seppuku upon even the slightest breach of any other rule of etiquette
Note: there are too many remaining rules of Japanese Etiquette to possibily enumerate them within the space of the internet

[edit] Nicaraguan Etiquette

  • When stabbing a bellboy it is considered rude to stab in an upward motion.

[edit] Columbian Etiquette

  • When stabbing any member of a hotel's staff, always stab in an upward motion.

[edit] Brazillian Etiquette

  • If it is not Carnival, do not wear tassles on your breasts.

[edit] British Etiquette

  • You must accept any and all cups of tea offered.
  • A queue is final. No pushing. No shoving. No sly shuffling. It's the law.
  • It is considered rude to ask how much someone earns. You are simply expected to guess. Their tone of voice, car and house are usually an indicator.
  • Don't mention the war.
Personal tools
In other languages
projects