Polterghost

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Not to be confused with a Poltergeist, a Polterghost can only be described as an unholy creature, sent to haunt a selection of apartments and houses in the Dublin 4 area of Ireland's capital city, Dublin. The polterghost is renowned for following inhabitants from the Lisburn area of Northern Ireland, to the Dublin area. This beast can take many forms, many have reported it in the shape of a combine harvester, while others have reported the shape of an old woman. The most recent sighting was that of a hippopotamus, in mid-2004. Local residents from Northern Ireland reported moaning and screeching coming from the bedroom cupboards, at night-time especially. The Gardai were notified and the polterghost made an attempt to escape. Local residents and the combined efforts of the Gardai, managed to trap the Polterghost and proceeded to bury it alive. This can be seen in the picture below:

Polterghost buried alive

Driving along Grand Canal Dock in Dublin at night, you can still hear the Polterghost roaring. Locals are too afraid to approach it, with many residents having moved out of the area due to the incessant wailing at night time. Many strange happenings have been reported since the Polterghost has been buried.

If you encounter a Polterghost, the recommended actions to take are

1. Run towards it (not away from it, like you would a Poltergeist)
2. Put on an extra jumper (as it always seems to be colder around Polterghosts)
3. Take a picture (they are pretty rare, above is the only known photo of one)
4. Get a snack / bite to eat (you will need energy for the digging)
5. Phone a friend (to help with the digging and chasing)
6. Give the friend something to eat (for energy also)
7. Encourage to friend to run away from the Polterghost, the Polterghost will follow
8. Yourself run after the polterghost, instructing your friend to run towards soft ground
9. Grab 2 shovels and another jumper (for your friend)
10. Allow your friend to be molested by the polterghost
11. While the polterghost is molesting the friend, begin digging a hole in the soft ground
12. Force Polterghost in to the ground
13. Put the second jumper on the friend
14. Encourage friend to assist in digging
15. Relax
16. Pee your pants