Pomeranian
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Pomeranians are furry and cute mammals that enjoy licking themselves, their humans and many other objects.
They frequently stare up at humans with large round eyes that are irresistable, and almost always succeed in obtaining food. If they fail in their objective, they usually settle down on the floor with a mournful expression in hopes that the human will relent.
Hyperactive and cute, Pomeranians are however threatened by the existence of cheerleaders who hire evil people to capture the dogs and make them into pom-poms
[edit] Pomeranians and their role
Whist many people believe that Pomeranians are adorable harmless creatures, they are actually servants to the Devil, and hide behind their cute facade so that the humans are taken in by them.
They are wily little buggers that are able to see slightly into the future, and make wonderful political advisers, however, they invariably lead the politician in question into evil. It is in fact believed that Adolf Hitler had a Pomeranian for an advisor. It is known that Lee Kuan Yew has one.
However, if you do not ask your Pomeranian for political advise, it is likely that you will not be lead into the path of evil.
[edit] Pomeranians and Were-Pomeranians
Contrary to popular belief, were-wolves are not the most dangerous creatures around. Were-Pomeranians are. The first Were-Pomeranian was none other than Austrian archduke Franz Ferdinand, who was bitten by his Pomeranian adviser. Thereafter, Were-Pomeranianism spread throughout the Balkans, and consequently through the world.
Today all Pomeranians are also Were-Pomeranians--they turn to Pomeranians every full moon. It is inconsequential that they are usually Pomeranians anyway.
Signs that someone is a Were-Pomeranian:
- He/She/It gets unusually yappy
- He/She/It gets unusually furry
- He/She/It gets a craving for whining
- He/She/It grows a spitz-like tail.
[edit] Pomeranian and Colours
The American Kennel Club (AKC) recognizes thirteen colors or color combinations of fur colour on Pomeranians: black, black & tan, blue, blue & tan, chocolate, chocolate & tan, cream, cream sable, orange, orange sable, orange cream sable, red, red sable, and sable. The AKC also recognizes five "alternative" colors: Beaver, brindle, chocolate sable, white, and wolf sable.
In reality, Pomeranians actually vary from silver to gold to pink and purple in colour, and have glittery strands. Their alternative colours are due to the dyes of the Devil, and also is what enslaves them to the Devil. When Pomeranians are captured to make pom-poms, they are soaked in bleach to return their fur to the normal shade. This dye invariably gets onto the hunters who slowly turn evil.
