Poontang

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Enjoy some fine um... Grapes.

“I never touch a drop”

~ Oscar Wilde on exactly what you are thinking

Poontang is, of course, a punch made from the fermented juice from the rare poonberry tree. It became immensely popular during colonial times, being a favourite of the Founding Fathers, drunk constantly by George Washington, as evidenced by his farewell address: "I only took the job for the poontang." Poontang is commonly found used by a group in crosby, liverpool.

[edit] History

The first known mention of the word "poontang" was in a 1674 issue of Ladies' Home Journal, when it documented the adventures of up-and-coming golfer Grizzly Adams: "...it seemed that all Grizzly wanted was some of her sweet, sweet poontainge...." It quickly spreaded from one town to another, the first recorded recipe being printed in Ye Boston Globe. It was widely regarded as "wicked retahded", and poontang became widespread.

Unfortunately, poontang's immense popularity was later learned to be the result of addictive qualities. Those who get a taste of it will become single-minded maniacs in pursuit of more. The hunger for good quality poontang is said to have made a Bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. Those who cannot get a fix will often take matters into their own hands, with disastrous outcomes. If a poontang addict cannot locate a steady source, withdrawal will occur, leading to unappealing physical and mental consequences, including blue balls, hairy palms, and lack of mental clarity.

In Sydney, Australia, world famous poontang dealers Trisha Le Freegancore and Mary-Jane are well-known for their poontang products, such as Poontang Juice® and the much sought after German Flava® and Brazilian Flava®.

after various studies the university of oxford's poontang collage discovered the poontang stem tree contained a regenative product that could regrow a lost limb if consumed to a high degree, this was often used during the world wars as a treatment for the war heroes, it was to expensive to use on the ordinary soldiers. it did not how ever cure eunichism.

It is known that the largest importer of Poontang is Mattske, otherwise known as Big Mattske Wunna, a sydney based homie-sider.