Popemobile
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
- This is an article about the Popemobile. Perhaps you were looking for the poopmobile.
“Quick, to the Popemobile!”
~ Batman on Popemobile
“ Holy Cow Batman! Someone Stole Our Car!”
~ Robin on Popemobile
Produced first by Honda, in the year 1104 A.D., and now mass produced in Japan, the Popemobile is a near-indestructible pear-shaped tank, equipped with three high powered lawn sprinklers, used to clear any errant citizens that wander into the path of the colossal vehicle and is the most pimped vehicle of all time. The original Popemobile was invented by Oscar Wilde himself. The Popemobile is powered by a pressuried tank of concentrated Mountain Dew, just as God decreed it.
At any given time, the Popemobile is located precisely at the exact center of the universe.
[edit] Use
Recently there has been a slight bit of confusion in the general public relating to the purpose of the Popemobile, the Pope's only method of transportation. It is common belief that after the last Pope was nearly assassinated, the Popemobile was created to protect the life of the Pope. This is not the case. The Popemobile was actually created for two other, more important reasons:
- Should the Antipope and the Pope come into close contact, there will be a massive release of energy, leaving the Pope obliterated in a mess of chunky stew and poop. By keeping the Pope in this small enclosed glass container, the general public is therefore protected from the explosion, and not covered in one bit of smelly pope juice.
- More importantly, the mess is very easy to clean, as after just a tad of windex and upholstery cleaner, a new Pope is ready to be popped into place and the parade can be continued, with only a 35 second delay.
In addition, this gave the Pope a place to display his collection of kickin' rims.
Designed specifically to keep your Pope fresh, simply pop open mobile and Pope will be rarin' and ready to go!
[edit] Equipment on the Popemobile
{
- High-pressure holy water guns
- Rapid-fires communion wafers
- Air conditioning
- Talks like KITT from Knight Rider
- Raised ledge area for the pope to shoot at infidels with his sniper rifle
- Surface-to-air missle launcher
- Surface-to-sinner homing missile launcher
- Flotation device for 'driving' on water
- 70" plasma TV
- Remote control for Vatican front door
- 6 reversed reverse gears to drive the car forwards
- Red telephone with direct line to God
- Green telephone with direct line to Colombian druglord Mr. Pacino
- Cheese slices to be laid on his holy genitals
- Hookers.
- Harry Potter DVD
- Voodoo Doll of Phillip Pullman
- That sandwich that had Jesus' Mom on it
- Unfolding skateboard ramp to bust some moves and catch some air
- A very powerful laser-pointer, so when Popie gets bored, he can blind a random you.
- A Cheeseburger voucher to be used at McDonalds when a large coke is purchased.
- Little Boys (For Later On)
- Lobster pr0nz
