Population bomb
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“It's over NINE THOUSAAAAANDDD!.”
~ The US Government on Japan's population growth.
The Population Bomb was an invention by J. Robert Oppenheimer during WWII to defeat the Japanese through procreation spies.
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[edit] The Tokyo Project
Oppenheimer was commissioned to find a way to end the war in the Pacific quickly and effectively, for the US casualties were on the rise. His partner, L Ron Hubbard, proposed an idea harnessing lost souls trapped in humans, organizing them at a mass scale, and launching them in the form of a Spirit Bomb. Oppenheimer insisted that this had no scientific merit which insulted Hubbard greatly. Hubbard declared Oppenheimer to be a ignorant, turned Super Sayan, and proceeded to look for some balls hidden across the globe.
[edit] Conception of the Trenton Project
Oppenheimer continued to do research in his new laboratory in Trenton, New Jersey. He spent years murdering rats, monkeys, and homeless people to find a humane way to slaughter the Japanese. One day, when going on his usual homeless rampage, he spotted a newspaper headline under the corpses head. Apparently, the local prisons were prematurely freeing inmates due to overpopulation. The inmates had been breeding like rabbits (still a mystery surrounding this all-male institution) and the institution was crumbling. Oppenheimer thought about this and eventually conceived (Haha, its a pun!) the Population Bomb.
[edit] The Procreation Spies
With US funding, Oppenheimer hired ordinary citizens, painted their faces Geisha-white, injected them with testosterone and axe body spray, and dropped them into Japan as procreation spies. The procreation spies then penetrated the Japanese defense (Yay, more puns!) increasing the birth rate by over 9,000 percent. The population grew so massive that the small island could no longer hold the weight. Japan consequently collapsed in on itself, ending the war.
[edit] The Atomic Bomb
A figment of your imagination, never really happened
so shut up
[edit] Legacy
Hubbard never found his balls.
