PowerPoint

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The PowerPoint.
The PowerPoint.

PowerPoint is a popular encryption program origionally designed by Microsoft for the CIA. It works by encouraging users to create bad taste, noisy and utterly frivalous slideshows that no-one would want to see.

Contents

[edit] History

Powerpoint was developed during the reign of Tutankhamen, although in an entirely different part of the world. Genghis Khan is rumoured to be involved in the Quality UnAssurance.

Powerpoint did not really take off until the bolshevik revolution in 1917. It was used by the party, in addition with the rest of Microsoft Office to organise itself. Many historians attribute this to the world-wide fall of Communism, although it's rumoured to persist in pockets of Canadia.

Today, it is taught in schools, leading to rumours of a conspiracy, involving Napoleon Dynamite, a glass of Pepsi Max and an Australian Terrier. Why these conspiracies have been developed, nobody knows.

[edit] Explanation Of The Name

Many people have wandered about the name and explanation behind it but most people attribute it as a reminder of what happens to the Power-Point you plug your laptop into when running it and Microsoft's bad programming causes the processor to go into overdrive.

[edit] Applications

Powerpoint has no perceivable uses or applications. It has been rumoured that some people use it to invoke the power of the demon, George Bush, to prevent cancer although the effectiveness of this is questionable at best, or sometimes to create slideshow presentations, but these rumours are yet to be confirmed.

[edit] Reasons for PowerPoint's Creation

[edit] Money

Many people think that PowerPoint was created for financial gain. It was not through creating a superior product in a highly competitive market. In fact, it is quite the opposite. All of the Microsoft Office products are designed to run poorly, using up all available RAM on a computer and causing everything to crash, often to the point of the Blue Screen of Death, forcing the user to buy more Microsoft gear, in order to continue the work they originally started to create using the original Microsoft software, which they were forced to do after Microsoft won the Cola Wars in 23 B.C, whilst most people are unaware they were even part of it. After their tremendously important victory, Microsoft owned the software game.

[edit] Power Games

Bill Gates is well known as a sadistic sadist with sadistic tendencies. Forcing people to use his crappy programs gives him his kicks.

[edit] World Domination

Examination of the code for PowerPoint (included below), demonstrates how the program has been written to take over the world. WARNING! The following code can only be deciphered by practitioners of C.

#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <stdcrap.h>
#include <worlddomination.h>

int main()
{
 printf("Welcome to Microsoft PowerPoint\n");
 printf("Create your presentation here\n");
 scanf("%s",presentation);
 dominate_world(presentation);
 return 0;
}

[edit] Time Travel

One of powerpoint's greatest features is the ability to travel in time when using it. For some strange reason whenever you use it you feel as if it is the 1980s and you are on a very slow computer.

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