Prime Directive

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“Prime Directive? Psshaaaaah...”

~ Captain Kirk on Prime Directive

“The Prime wha?”

~ Col. Jack O'Neill on Prime Directive during every episode of SG-1

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Prime Directive.

The Prime Directive is one of the guiding principles of the UN, which is that Starfleet captains are not allowed to interfere with any alien culture that they run across. Of course, this directive is usually ignored. Captains may shoot, murder, disintegrate, mutilate and dismember any member of any alien species and destroy their homes and cultures with impunity, just so long as StarFleet doesn't find out about it before the end of the episode. This directive is most notably ignored by captains like James T. Kirk when there's a really hot girl they want to shag involved. This is double if the girl is green.

Some captains, such as Jean Luc Picard do try to obey the Prime Directive, berating all violators with 90 hour lectures on the subject of non-interferance. This is made all the worse because he's French and no-one likes being lectured to by the French, especially when they're French military officers.

The most notable coralary to the Prime Directive is the Kathryn Janeway Rule, which states, "When stranded 70,000 light-years from home, the Prime Directive must be obeyed unless there is a possibility of getting it on with a borg dominatrix."

Not to be confused with the Optimus Prime Directive, the governing body of the Autobots, or prime numbers which are numbers that have joined the mafia.

[edit] Key Events Involving the Breaking of the Prime Directive

Kirk beams down, does a hot green alien chick, and makes a baby who grows up to be that planet's Adolf Hitler
In a sad attempt to be as cool as the other captains, Archer gives tactical nukes to cavemen... who use it as a gigantic paperweight.
Capitan Picard Beams a collection of Cher CDs onto an unsuspecting planet.
The Prime Directive is created by an Alien Race who interfered with the natural course of evolution for humans
Henry Kissinger teaches the French how to invent the table