Propaganda
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Propaganda is a very old form of communication. The difference between propaganda and classical communication is that propaganda is always true.
Iraq had weapons of mass destruction!!!
Propaganda has often been cited as the cornerstone of freedom of speech. As it is always true, it can never be false, and therefore people hearing propaganda are often known to reflexively say "duh" during and after propagandisation.
Saddam Hussein had ties with Al-Qaeda!!!
As a result, the term no-duh-propraganda has arisen, with various equivalents in all 3.7 million galactic languages. Although we must note the term is tautologically redundant.
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[edit] Etymology
The word's origins are diverse, coming from several sources.
The prefix "pro" is from the Latin "protos" meaning beginning. As to the origin of "pa", many say it's from the proto-hyper-Altaic **p which means "kiss". Alternative theories say that "pa" is a reduced second "pro" coming from the speech defect of King Anne III (he was a renowned stutterer). The "gand" comes from the Proto-Indo-European "gnd" from which our words "gonad", "gender", "gentleman" and "Uganda" come. The final "a" undisputedly means "wisdom" (consider the English "uh" and "eh?" also derived from this ancient root). Thus, this extrapolated definition of "propaganda": "first kiss of wisdom's gonad(s)" or alternatively, "the first wisdom's gonad(s)".
The meaning of the word implies its obvious importance. Propaganda was the prelude to reproduction, and therefore to all mankind, when a man spoke the truth to a woman, convincing her to copulate with him (considering he loved her).
[edit] Propaganda in History
The first human who could communicate (some call him "Adam" for a joke), propagandised by his wife Eve[sic], ate the fruit and became smarter than before. Before it propaganda traveled to Sovietlands, where it transform its official language.
Failure to believe propaganda killed most of the Earth's population in the Great Flood.
Had more people listened to the Propaganda of Nero Roman Hero-emperor, who said the Christians were responsible for the fires in Rome, they may have obliterated the sect, which has been a nuisance to much propaganda ever since (although some of their contributions to the same have been great).
The Crusades were an example of Just War, which were fuelled by the best fuel: Propaganda.
[edit] Modern Propaganda
The Age of Contemporary propaganda (also know as Mesopoganda) started with Grigori Rasputin (hereafter Raspy), he spoke one of many tragic truths, which was propagated by those in greater power. Tragically he was killed before his propaganda could come true. Further propagandists followed him, most notably Lenin. He is known by classical propagandologists as Paganda, the kisser of the gonad of wisdom. Although Raspy was the instigator of the new age, Paganda is know as the father of Modern Propaganda.
Some other notable propagandists (speakers of ultimate truth) of the 20th century include:
- Fidel Castro
- Mother Teresa
- Pope John Paul II
- Jack van Impe
- Jozaf Hatler
- Bart Simpson
- The Dick Van Dyke Show
Some argue that with the rise of a new world leader, George the Bush, the Neopoganda age has begun.
The Presidential title Poganda is secretly being added to the Secret Constitution of the United States of America in the form of the 1005th amendment. It stands along side the SC’s 1st amendment as the most foundational. Analysts believe that the Secret Senate is planning on renaming Lenin as Prepaganda, and the President will be simply called Paganda the Enternal.
Some adherents to Gandistic Theosophology claim that in the presence of the President they feel “a supertangible volume of Ganda energy flowing out of His mouth, and immersing [them] in beatific orgastecstasies of unparallelled content. Paganda is great! Paganda Akhbar!”
Some of the most significant Gandatruths spoken by the Paganda (His name be magnificent) are:
- 1. The Iraqis have weapons of Mass Destruction.
- 2. Saddam Hussein and Uhhsama Bin Ladin are chums and call each other “Saddy-My-Dear” (or “Saddy-my-daddy” in B*D*S*M* games) and “Big-boy-Sammy” (or “Bin-Laden-with-Garbage” in said games).
- 4. [North] Korea has WMD.
- 5. WMD is bad, and so are countries ho have them. Those countries are terrorist states.
- 5.a) Countries with nukes are reliable, though, and should be let alone.
- 6. America is good, and the opposite of a terrorist state.
- 7. Canada has WMD when the Paganda (His name is yummy on the lips) feels like it.
[edit] Wikipedia
One of the most renowned sources of Propaganda and a holy site of Gandistic Theosophology, emits only truth. Many users have reported spontaneous multiple organdisms while reading information on the site.
[edit] References
- The Holy Book of Ganda, The Paganda (may He have mercy on those who do not capitalise His name, title, and pronouns represent Him), 2000
- The Truth about Antipropaganda, and How It can Undamn You Today, J. Scriemer, 1023 B.C.
- Pagandic Statements of the Ganda, 20th addition The Paganda (may the incarnate Truth be born in all of us), Yet to be released to the general public.
