Captain Britain

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(Redirected from Protector of the British Isles)

This article or section may be Overly British. Americans may not understand humour, only humor. Canadians and Australians may not understand anything at all. Don't change a thing to remedy this.

Captain Britain standing at the prow of HMS Hot Crumpet during the Falklands War

Captain Britain is known as being the single greatest superhero of all time by the people of Great Britain, Europe and the Commonwealth as well as being the winner of the World's Biggest Racist award for the year 2004. His powers can be matched only by Superman who is also known for being the single gratest superhero in the United States of Armania.

The Captain is known for achiveing several acts of great bravery including fighting in World War Two alongside The Queen. Captain Britain is also said to have found the Holy Grail along with Monty Python although this is popularly disputed as it it popularly considered that Oscar Wilde IS the Holy Grail.

Captain Britain briefly claimed Excalibur as his own and was appointed protector of the entire friggin multiverse (kinda like a multiplex but with universes instead of theaters). He lost his position when too many Americans complained that they didn't want their multiverse ran by a Brit.

Stupid Americans.

To add insult to injury, Captain Britain was later sued by King Arthur and had to give up the sword and 3 pounds for emotional trauma.

1 Allegiance
2 Superpowers
3 Famous Quotes
4 See also

[edit] Allegiance

Captain Britain was an ally of the Conservative Party of Great Britain from 1979 to 1996 when he went into early retirement. He was persuaded to return to the political frontline in 2002 by the United Kingdom Independence Partisans for whom he now knits union jack tea-cosys. He has refused to thwart their enemies and get them into government as he managed to do for Margaret Thatcher claiming "there are limits to my powers".

[edit] Superpowers

Can consume large quantities of tea without scones.
Knows that it IS football and NOT soccer.
Ability to drive on both sides of the road.
Ability to understand humour.
Ability to speak the english language correctly and use correct grammar and punctuation.
Ability to consume life threatining quantities of alchohol

[edit] Famous Quotes

It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time It's Tricky...it's Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky) It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time It's Tricky...Tr-tr-tr-tricky (Tricky) Trrrrrrrrrrricky
-- Run DMC on how hard it must be to be Captain Britain