Pseudo-Liberal

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Did I lose an arm and a leg for this?

“This sort of thing makes me so angry I want to punch the missus.”

~ Jim Davidson on Pseudo-Liberals

The pseudo-liberal is a mutation of the liberal that exists in Britain. The pseudo-liberal is essentially a bigot who parades under the illusion of being a liberal.

[edit] Rampant Buggery

Pseudo-liberals are usually latent or active sexual deviants who wish to lower the age of consent to minus figures and wish to invest in virtual reality technology so that they can molest children and adults before they are even born, as well as in their dreams.

Molestation includes both physical noncing and manipulation of truth and logical fallacy (and nobgical phallacy) in order to coerce people into believing that complex ritualistic masturbation should be promoted and such practitioners of these brown arts should be elevated to positions of power so that they can reap a anal fruit of mankind.

[edit] Wiped Clean

The pseudo-liberal also promulgates the ethnic cleansing of ancient nations by encouraging mass immigration of foreign criminals, prostitutes, plumbers, and tax exiles, developing world murderous dictators (Thaksin Shinawatra, Robert Mugabe etc...) under the strapline of "celebrating multiculturalism and diversity", creating monocultural diversity shitholes in innercity areas, to keep crime rates high to distract the public from their anal sports, and keep money away from the people in safekeeping in Scheiserland.

In the words of the prophet Bernard: "If a dog's born in a stable, it dun't mek it an 'orse", but to the disturbed and evil pseudoliberal, anything that increases their bumchance is righteous; and anything that says immigration is wrong and destructive is a blasphemy to the pseudoliberal religion.

[edit] Virulent Rogering

In the words of the prophet Enoch "There'll be rivers of blood"; but the wretched pseudoliberal, seizes these words and twists them to "yeah, but the blood shall be mixed with faeces and semen, as verily I shall make 16-year old boys give it up, for a pay rise". By keeping the flow of immigrants, they maintain their harvest of pert white bumflesh.

They use the media to pump out the truth that aggressive, non-English-speaking aliens, who care not for the sacred queue, and sully our pavements with their scrounging grollies, with names like off Star Wars are "as British as you or I"; and offer dissenters the opportunity to raise their dissatisfaciton with the CRE in room 101, wherein truth resides in a hand-carved traidcraft box brought back from Nepal by a middle-class backpacking anthropology student from Luton.

It is said that when the orc-like pseudoliberal rises, the end of days is night, and verily soon our country shall be known as Anglostan.

D-O Y-O-U S-P-E-A-K E-N-G-L-I-S-H Johnny Foreigner we can't read this so for your benefit I A-M G-O-I-N-G T-O S-P-E-A-K S-L-O-W-L-Y A-N-D L-O-U-D-L-Y (Yet still in English) B-E-C-A-U-S-E I-F Y-O-U D-O N-O-T S-P-E-A-K E-N-G-L-I-S-H Y-O-U M-U-S-T B-E T-H-I-C-K A-N-D D-E-A-F.(and speak english even if you didn't realise it at first) We don't want to fight But, by Jingo, if we do, We've got the ships, We've got the men, We've got the money, too.