Puberty
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Kids with puberty are my favorite kind.”
~ Michael Jackson on kids
“My work here is done”
~ The Devil on puberty
Puberty is the process through which a teenager undergoes asholeish behavury usually accompanied by a new outlook on life and a healthy sense of rebellion. Most side-effects of puberty are considered to be positive, and include an increase in body hair, a cracking voice (which adds character), and growth spurts which throw the body out of whack and akimbo (which most adults find cute). Puberty is a very widespread phenomenon and is little understood among scientists. About 99% of adults have successfully undergone puberty, and it has been called nature's plastic surgery.
Contents |
[edit] Puberty: God's sense of humor?
To prove that God still exists and that he is a sadist, the rules of puberty are:
- You will want sex more than at any time in your life.
- Never will you be more incapable of getting laid.
[edit] A Historical Perspective
Puberty has appeared in many historical figures. For example, puberty may have accounted for Hitler's hatred towards Jews and his moodiness, which many females found attractive. Hitler was, in fact, recognized as Time Magazine Man of the Year, all thanks to his puberty.
[edit] Early History
The earliest records of puberty have been found in cave paintings. As early as 1 billion BC, teenage boys have channeled artistic creativity by drawing on the walls of caves. These pictures often depicted them stabbing their parents or their peers mocking them. Ahh, the wonders of puberty.
Greece was the first civilization to recognize puberty as a natural human process. Writers such as Plato and Socrates offered many commentaries and insights into puberty, accompanied by personal accounts occasionally. Here is an example:
“Puberty, the most wonderful aspect of human development... my own, bushy forest of facial hair comes to mind, which can be compared to the magnificent forests of Crete, with high willow trees askew with dynamic power.”
~ Plato, rambling about something.
[edit] Puberty Today
Today, puberty has taken many forms. It has created a diverse teenage subculture, and groups such as the Emos, sluts and rebels have graced our planet's soil through the wonders of puberty. It is no wonder that celebrated contemporary writers, such as Maddox, praise puberty, offering such timeless quotes as
“How do you dumbasses manage to breathe?”
~ Maddox on praising groups affected by puberty.
[edit] Effects
Puberty has a number of healthy effects. As is readily seen, all effects of puberty are positive. Here is a short list of them.
- Growth spurts
- Depression (which adds to the mystique of the individual)
- An increase in body hair
- An increase in body odor (a defense mechanism useful in the evolution of our species)
- A deeper voice, with a higher tendency to crack (which adds character)
- A higher sex drive (some individuals with puberty can ejaculate up to 41 times in 30 seconds)
- A higher tendency to trash up the school (which gives Mexican janitors a job to do)
- Small teeth growing from your nose
[edit] See Also
| YECCH! This article is UGLY. It may not be as ugly as this template, but it still needs to be fixed. Please make this look like a proper wiki article by adding links, headers, paragraphs, or any other formatting needed (see here for instructions and look at these for examples). If this page is not fixed in 30 days it may become a candidate for deletion. |
Categories: Ugly | People | Nature
